January 12, 2007

• Dogs vs. Cats

  OK, I know this is ridiculously esoteric, but it’s 6 AM and I just woke up and I thought it was funny.  Anyone who reads my blog knows I’m a dog person.  I don’t mind  cats, but I’m really allergic to them, and seem to become more so the older I get.  It’s the classic argument really (and not just in America I’ve found).  There are typically cat people and dog people.  I wonder what that says about us, if anything?  Perhaps it’s just what we were exposed to as children, or perhaps cat people like the low maintenance appeal of their pets, and live busier lives?  When I meet a true cat person, my standard joke is, “Oh you’re a cat person?”  They inevitably respond, “Yes!”, to which I retort,  “Oh, we should trade recipes”.   Like I said at the beginning, ridiculously esoteric, but if it made you smile, I guess it’s worth it!

  How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

  	1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
  	2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
  	3. Dachshund: You’re kidding! Go get me a bacon treat. NOW!
  	4. Rottweiler: Make me.
  	5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
  	6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
  	7. German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
  	8. Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
  	9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!
  	10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
  	11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or “We don’t need no stinking light bulb.”
  	12. Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?
  	13. Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
  	14. Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

  How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
  	Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: “How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?”

  • 9:13 am
  • 3 Comments