What do you think of when you hear that term?  Before today I would have thought it to be some new invention for pets, similar to “neuticals” (for the male dog who misses his, well, you know, after he’s been neutered).  I love this quote from their website: 

Neuticles allow your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aid in the trauma associated with neutering.

With Neuticles – It’s like nothing ever changed!

But in actuality, “Purity Balls” are even scarier.  As reported by ABC News today, Purity Balls are a fast growing phenomenon in conservative Christian communities.  They involve ceremonies, with all the accoutrements of a wedding (white cake and all), where the “groom” is actually the girl’s father.  Girls as young as 12 sign commitments with their fathers, that they will not engage in sex before marriage.

Now, I’m all for abstinence when it’s the right choice for a person or family, but I’m also a realist.  Girls that young cannot possibly understand the ramifications of what these “commitments” entail.  Case in point:  ABC News actually interviewed a 12 year old who swore she would not even kiss a boy until after she was married.

OK, am I the only person who thinks this is just creepy, not to mention utterly ridiculous?  I know I live in the moral wasteland of Hollywood, but seriously don’t the puritanical fundamentalists know what’s really going on here?  Look at any teenage girl’s myspace or Facebook profile.  (OK, now I’m the one who sounds a little creepy LOL, but a few of my cousins actually have myspace pages, and I’ve been known to look at their “friends” profiles, just to see what they are being exposed to. )  By the way, studies have shown that nearly 90% of the girls who have participated in these absurd rituals, actually break their commitments.  I’d love to see Hollywood make a movie about that!  Of course, the family dog would have to be neutered

 

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Update:  Tyson just sent me this:  http://www.twoheadedblog.com/?p=587  Apparently the Glamour article states that this is done with girls as young as FOUR!

Does Oprah know about this???  I smell a “very special” Oprah “Women as PROPERTY???”

“What Am I, A Hymen With Legs?”  That’s got to win the award for blog title of the year

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By the way, this is the second time this week I’ve written about something from ABC News.  Thanks to Bob Woodruff’s exposing the abhorrent treatment of Iraq war veterans with traumatic brain injuries, and the recent unfortunate news about the Walter Reed Medical Center, I believe the tide is starting to turn with the media’s handling of this war.  For the past 6 years, Bush and Cheney have made the mainstream media cower before them.  Bob Woodruff’s injury, which no one can refute (not even the Dark Lord himself), may end up saving lives because people are moved to action by his heroic story and comeback.  Kudos to ABC News.

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ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
“You berate your co-workers in British accent, but you’re from Cincinnati.” — One of David Letterman’s “Top 10 Signs You’re Obsessed with American Idol.”

For my geeky and non-geeky friends alike, this is worth watching   Pachelbel was the original one hit wonder!

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Oh, and speaking of geeky Tyson sent me a video today that talked about people solving the Rubik’s Cube with, are you ready, chopsticks!

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I LOVE this girl!!

From: Michaela

Sent: Wednesday, March 07, 2007 5:39 AM

To: Carey

Subject: Re: Party

thank you soooooooo much carey,

i missed you at the party … but it was good fun !!!

you rememer daniele – mirkos friend – who joined us at the nye party in munich ???!!!!

he is still in london and we got in contact and i invited him to the party and he really showed up – that was sooooooooooooooooooo great and funny and showed me again how small the world is and how nice it is to have someone like you always keeping us conected ))

I love you carey for what a wonderful gorgeous and lovely person you a are – a real god !!!!

besos

mick

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Note:  Since this was published, the situation has been resolved and I have removed the offender’s name

Here’s another one of my infamous “customer service” emails, regarding a loan I have with my bank.  Hopefully this one will be posted in their lunchroom, if only for laughs   I actually find the writing process quite cathartic!

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I just got off the phone with Erin in your collections department and apparently there has been a gross miscarriage of justice regarding my account with your bank.  Besides the fact that your website is juvenile and un-navigable, it is showing me as past due. I have never been late for ANYTHING in my life.  Not a movie, not a wedding, and certainly not a loan payment.  Your website (that looks like it was designed by a 5 year old (scratch that, 4)) tells me my past due amount is $879 but when I go to make a payment, it tells me that only $360 is due. 

Erin in your customer service department; (who was very nice by the way, which was unusual as I would guess that such a shady two bit corporation like yours would only hire shady, dishonest criminals who rape people, like your company rapes its customers.)  Anyway, I digress, Erin told me that the erroneous “Amount Due” was simply a “computer glitch” and when loans are transferred to other servicers, payments sometimes get “lost in the shuffle”.  You may not know this, but the phrase “lost in the shuffle” refers to playing cards that sometimes get “lost”.  It is often used to connote random happenings that might get missed in our busy lives.  It is NOT, I repeat, NOT meant to be used by lenders who affect the credit and thereby the lifelong viability of a consumer’s existence.  We are taking about basic needs like food, shelter and clothing.  This FLIP remark only strengthens my belief that your company has been completely negligent in handling my account. 

When I signed up for this loan, I specifically stated that you were not to send me ANY mail.  Snail mail is a 20th century technology which I REFUSE to acquiesce to in the 21st century.  I haven’t checked my mail since Christmas, since it’s all junk anyway, and I haven’t put a stamp on an envelope or even written a check in five years, and I’m NOT about to start now.  I demand to have a supervisor call me immediately (if not sooner) to discuss your liability in this abhorrent customer service debacle.  Lest you forget, “I” am the customer and YOU are here to serve “ME”.  I refuse to let a “computer glitch” destroy my good name.  Five years from now, your company will surely be out of business, and I will be faced with the ENORMOUS challenge of fixing MY credit.  I await your call.

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Following up on my post last week about the Secretary of Veteran Affairs, the honorable (and delusional) R. James Nicholson, comes a new game from the good folks at www.truemajority.org.  It’s modeled after the game we all played as kids, Operation, so check it out

Also, while you’re there, (if you live in the US) you can sign up to receive a free Federal Government foldable frisbee, which graphically demonstrates how much of the federal budget (nearly half) of the United States of America is spent on defense.  Too bad they don’t use that money for body armor or mold removal at Walter Reed Medical Center.  But Cheney’s fat cats at Haliburton are all sitting pretty.  Bastards!

 

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UNBELIEVABLE (Sorry video may be down)

 

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And in the interest of fairness:

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And finally, if you haven’t seen it yet, check out www.dubyamovie.com 

Below you will find a video from the Pizza Hut website, after recent media coverage and video of giant rats running rampant through a Pizza Hut/KFC/Taco Bell in New York City, while customers ate their meals.  They’ve apparently hired a “national rodent expert” to solve the problem (though anyone who’s ever worked in a restaurant will tell you about rats.  Granted, not giant ones scurrying about in broad daylight while you devour a chicken leg).  Here’s the disgusting video of the little varmints:

And here’s their CEO explaining the problem, LOL: (By the way, check out the background of the video.  Where is he, the Pizza Hut underground nuclear bunker/storage room??

And I’d love to know who the media savvy marketing analyst who decided to feature this video on Pizza Hut’s own website, for the whole world to see when they go to order pizza online.  Brilliant move Einstein!

It’s all on www.cousincouples.com LOL, I’m serious!

Ordered a gift basket for a friend today.  Had to think about this question.  Thank God they gave me an example!

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ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
“Yesterday, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro called into a radio talk show and said he’s feeling much better. Castro started his call by saying, ‘Hi, this is Fidel from Havana — longtime dictator, first-time caller.’” — Conan O’Brien

“The Nielsen ratings for this year’s Oscars were up compared to last year’s, especially among 18- to 34-year-olds. Keep in mind that statistic is misleading because viewers who were 18 at the beginning of the show were over 50 when it ended.” — Conan O’Brien

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A five legged lamb, a two faced pig (and I don’t mean two faced as in hypocritical!) and a two faced cow!  Click the pics for details.  Remember we’re eating the meat from these gene pools!

Can I have an extra leg with that KFC Value meal??