September 27, 2007

• Homeless Russians, Devil Worshiping Gay Latinos, Butt Sniffing Dogs, Mooncakes & Chinese Cyberterror

  

  It was one of those quintessential Hollywood nights.  The temperature was a pleasant 75°F (24°C) with a slight breeze and unusually clean air.  I’m dog-sitting Garbo & Ruby for the next two weeks, and tonight we took a long walk and stopped for dinner on the way home.  The sun was setting, aptly enough over Sunset Boulevard and the beautiful full moon was rising through wispy clouds just as it did in Asia earlier to mark the ending of the Moon Festival.

  As I sat outside waiting for my food to be served, an older gentleman at the next table caught my eye, mainly because he was smoking a corn cob pipe (?) and typing on a manual typewriter!!  He asked me what kind of dogs Garbo & Ruby were, and I in turn asked him what he was <typing>.  He said he was working on a screenplay (natch), and that he found the sound of a traditional typewriter inspiring.  Just for my younger readers who’ve never seen a typewriter, they look like this, LOL:

  

  As I began eating, there was some commotion at the Starbucks next door.  A ridiculously muscled gay Latino guy was having a very loud, very heated conversation with a passerby.  At first I thought they were arguing, but then they started laughing and I realized that this guy was just obnoxiously loud and boisterous.  (And for ME to say that about someone, it’s like “Hello pot? It’s kettle. You’re black!”; though I like to think I’m simply animated, not loud and obnoxious.)

  At this point an obviously homeless and more obviously drunk man appeared and started reading the newspaper at a nearby table.  As the commotion at Starbucks continued, the homeless man began getting visibly frustrated.  He was muttering about how he just wanted to read his newspaper in peace, and how obnoxious the Latino guy was being.  (Frankly, I kind of agreed with him.  I would not have been able to concentrate either.  Of course, I was sober!)

  Eventually the homeless guy started yelling at the Latino guy.  The homeless guy had a really beautiful Russian accent!  It almost sounded aristocratic, yet his scraggly beard and filthy tattered clothes betrayed that observation.  Finally, he couldn’t take it any more, and he got up and went over to the Latino guy’s table.  The Russian told the Latino that he was bothering everyone in the vicinity (true, I suspect) and that he was being very rude.  He told him he didn’t care how big he was, that he could “take him’ and make him bow down on his knees because he himself bowed to no one.  (In the meantime, me and the pipe smoking typewriting old guy, were just trying to blend in.)

  Now, here’s where it gets crazy.  Just as I thought one of them was going to throw a punch (would the gay guy really punch the homeless guy?), the homeless guy started freaking out, and calling the gay guy a devil worshiper.  The Russian said that he was part of the “Royal Family” in the Ukraine, and that one day his brother would forgive him (??).  He coninued ranting about his status and his connections.  I felt really sorry for him.  Had the Latino guy just ignored him (as everyone else was trying to do), he probably would have just gone away, but the Latino guy just kept egging him on.  (Can’t we all just get along??)

  Finally the Russian (Ukrainian, I guess) went back to sit down.  At that point someone walked by with a dog, and Garbo and Ruby started playing.  Butt sniffing ensued and the homeless guy freaked out, and started screaming about how “nasty” that was, and how ass sniffing shouldn’t be allowed in public.  That was our cue to leave.  “Check please!”

  Only in Hollywood!

  
  

  ---

  
  Dell Update:

  You may remember reading about my recent experience buying a Dell computer, and trying to return it.  Well, I finally got a response back from Dell, and I won!!  They have refunded my credit card for the whole price.  I think it’s funny how they’re using their real names now too.  Instead of “Jaron” it’s “Abhay” and “Zyrene”.  LOL 
  

  Dear Carey,

  Thank you for contacting Dell Online Customer Care.  I
  understand from your email, your concern regarding the full credit. I
  apologize for the inconvenience to you. I appreciate the opportunity to
  assist you on this.

  I am glad to inform you that the full amount
  has been credited to your original mode of payment i.e. Visa Card,
  under Credit Memo Number XC4W2F957. The amount of $888.42 was credited
  on 09-10-07. Therefore an amount of $888.42 has already been credited
  to your account, which is the total amount of your order. Please be
  assured no amount for restocking fee is charged. I would request you to
  contact your financial institution for more information on the credit
  amount.

  If you need any additional information, or have any
  other questions, please feel free to reply to my email. It will be my
  endeavor to ensure that all of your questions are answered to your
  complete satisfaction.
  Thank you for giving me the opportunity
  to assist you. Your case number for this interaction is 173778420.
  Please keep this number for your records. It will help us keep track of
  this issue so we can assist you better if you have any further
  questions or concerns.

  If you require further assistance, please feel free to visit our Online Customer Care Center at:
  http://support.dell.com
  Thank you again, for contacting Dell Online Customer Care.

  Respectfully,
  Abhay Thakur

  Rep ID 169021
  06:30 AM to 03:30 PM CST
  Dell Online Customer Care

  Original Message Follows: ————————
  Thank
  you.  Had that been communicated to me weeks ago, I would have known
  why UPS kept leaving notes on my door with no information.  I’m
  assuming you will be refunding my entire purchase price, correct?  I do
  not intend on paying any restocking fees.  Please advise.  Thank you.

  Carey

   On 9/21/07, US_CAG_Customer_Care <US_CAG_Customer_Care@dell.com> wrote:
   Dear Carey,

   Thank you for contacting Dell Online Customer Care.

  I
  apologized for all the inconvenienced this has caused you. I checked
  your records and a Credit Request Authorization have been processed
  dated September 04, 2007. UPS is trying to pick up the damaged item so
  that credit will be issued on your account as soon as the item was
  returned to Dell. The reference number is 093877453. You may contact
  Customer Care Voice Department at 1800-624-9897, Mondays through
  Fridays from 7AM to 9PM CST for verification. The reference number is
  093837058.   Should you need additional assistance, visit our Online
  Customer Care Center at http://support.dell.com .

  Sincerely,
  Zyrene
  133237
  Dell Online Customer Care
  Case number: 173778420 (Please use this number for reference)

  Original Message Follows: ————————

  Hello “Jaron” (if that’s your real name.  Why do I have a feeling it’s Patel??),

  OK,
  I’m REALLY getting irritated here.  You told me someone would be
  calling in the next 48 to 72 hours, 2 WEEKS AGO!  The only person who
  called was some crazy woman in India (I asked), trying to SELL me a
  warranty on a DEFECTIVE machine that I told you I wanted to RETURN
  WEEKS ago.  I have called your Customer “Service” only to be
  transferred FIVE times, and HUNG UP on by someone foreigner with an
  accent so thick I couldn’t even understand them.  Outsourcing American
  jobs during a time of war is tantamount to TREASON.  You should be
  tried for war crimes you greedy corporate behemoth.

  You have
  sent UPS to my house THREE times now, with NO explanation of what they
  are here for.  NO ONE from Dell has contacted me as promised, regarding
  this return  I’m ready to call my credit card company and dispute the
  bill for this piece of crap computer you sold me.  I always loved Dell
  and always loved your customer service.  I recommended you to my
  friends.  Now you’re just like everyone else, selling computers that
  catch on fire, and investing in 3rd world economies instead of your
  own.  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  How do you even sleep at
  night?  I DEMAND a PERSONAL reply to this IMMEDIATELY (if not sooner).
   If my complaint is not resolved, I will call my credit card company,
  the Better Business Bureau and other online feedback sites, and post
  this letter on my blog which gets 5,000 HITS a DAY.  It’s time to
  FIGURE IT OUT Dell, and quit treating your customers like the garbage
  you sell.  You represent the worst of corporate America and you disgust
  me.  I await your reply.

  On 9/3/07, US_CAG_Customer_Care < US_CAG_Customer_Care@dell.com >wrote:
  Dear Carey,

  Dell
  apologizes for any inconvenience your damaged keys and screen may have
  caused you. Dell considers every customer important and values your
  business.
  Because of the complexity of your issue we have
  forwarded your message to a Customer Care Specialist who will be
  contacting you in the next 48 to 72 hours to help resolve your
  situation.
  Thank you for your patience.
  Dell appreciates your business.

  Respectfully,

  Jaron
  Case#173778420
  Dell Online Customer Service
  http://support.dell.com

  Original Message Follows:
  ————————
  Comments:
  I’d like to return this.  The keys were damaged when I got it.  They
  don’t all work properly. The screen is not what I ordered, and the
  shipment was over a week late.  I don’t plan on paying to ship it back.
   I’d like a full refund and instructions on how to return it.
  “* * * END Feedback * * *

  So now, after all that, I read this today:

  
  

  From China, With Love: Cyberwar the Next Big Threat to the U.S.?

  September 26, 2007 6:12 PM
  Brian Ross and Vic Walter Report:

  
  The White House is preparing a new initiative to protect against what
  it fears could be a crippling attack against the U.S. by computer, from
  overseas, and in particular, from China.   

  After a series of cabinet-level meetings this month at the White
  House, computer security analysts say the Bush administration is
  considering creating a new agency or cyberwar center to better protect
  the federal government’s computers and find ways to help private
  companies and public utilities fend off computer attacks.

  Those attacks, which could be just a few key strokes away, could
  shut down U.S. power grids and communication and banking systems,
  security analysts warn. 

  “Basically we would find the lights go out, the dial tone stop and
  we have no ability to access our money,” Sami Saydjari, founder and
  president of the Cyber Defense Agency, told ABC News.

  Internet security companies, such as Akamai in Boston, are currently
  tracking thousands of attacks against the U.S. government and corporate
  computer systems every day.

  “We would not be in a good situation if we were to enter a cyberwar
  today,” Akamai co-founder and chief scientist Tom Leighton said.

  On most days, the single biggest source of those attacks is China.

  “A Chinese general has talked about how they would reach out through
  cyberspace and turn off the American electric power grid before any
  conflict with the United States,” said Dick Clarke, a former White
  House counterterrorism official and now ABC News consultant.

  White House advisors say alarm bells sounded when this past June
  Chinese hackers got into the unclassified computers of Secretary of
  Defense Robert Gates.

  “The intelligence community has come to the recognition that China
  and other foreign governments have free run of American computer
  networks,” Clarke said.

  In addition to long-distance hacking, U.S. experts are concerned
  Chinese-made computer equipment could be sabotaged in ways that are
  undetectable, the scaled Trojan horse attack.

  “My fear is that there are many, many Trojan horses, many, many
  malicious codes in a large number of our critical systems,” Saydjari
  said. “And that there are just waiting to be activated through some
  trigger at some time.” 

  The White House says it is asking for $6 billion in the latest budget to increase supersecret.

  

  
  So now, not only do I have to worry about lead in my toothpaste and toys, I have to worry about Trojans in computers that are made in China, and waiting for some secret command to attack the United States a la The Matrix??  I would venture to guess that you cannot buy a computer anywhere in the world today that does not have parts from China.  Anyone want to build me a computer?  I’ll pay you $800!  LOL.  By the way, Dell still hasn’t sent UPS to pick up this laptop, so until they do, I’m keeping it.  If it happens to bring down the entire US power grid, my apologies in advance!

  

  
  Happy Mooncake Festival everyone!  Eat some for me, and keep those lanterns lit!

  
  

  

  • 12:30 am
  • 8 Comments