September 16, 2009

• Root Beer Summit

  

  I don’t know why everyone is acting so surprised that Kanye West is a dick.  I could have told you that a year and a half ago:

   

  
  

  Tuesday, 29 January 2008

  Kentucky Fried Kanye

  I’ve never been a big fan of Kentucky Fried Chicken or any fried chicken for that matter.  But ever since KFC announced these ridiculously fattening, hedonistic and some would say disgusting  mashed potato bowls, they’ve become a true guilty pleasure that I tend to treat myself to once every few months.  These “heart attacks in a bowel” (get it?) are so obscenely good that if I was ever on death row, they would surely make up at least part of my last meal.  (Hell, you’re gonna die anyway!  Skip the cheese though…that’s just disgusting.  LOL)

  

  So after a long busy morning at work, I decided to walk the few blocks over to this ratty little KFC on Sunset & Fairfax.  While I’m indulging in mashed potato decadence and listening to my “This American Life” podcast, a silver Mercedes McLaren pulls up to the door of KFC.  Mind you, this KFC is small.  There’s no drive-through, there’s not even a customer bathroom inside.  There are parking spots however, which didn’t seem to matter to the driver of this $500,000.00 car.  The car was not only blocking the entrance to the restaurant, but it was also blocking the entrance to the parking lot!  As the angel wing door opened up (like a DeLorean), Kanye West stepped out.  Even before I knew it was him, I started snapping pictures with my cell phone, because I knew it would be blog-worthy. 

   
  Kanye getting out of his car.  He’s wearing a camouflage hat and sunglasses.

  Even though he was wearing the hat and sunglasses, his chipmunk cheeks were immediately recognizable.  I tried to be discreet with my cell phone pics, but when I went outside to take a picture of his car, he glared at me angrily.

  

  Kanye’s $500,000 car blocking the entrance.  You’ll see in the video below that he “doesn’t want people looking at [sic] his car” 

  Try parking it in a parking spot next time, asshole!
  
  

  He had apparently just left Popeye’s Chicken announcing to the whole restaurant that KFC had the best chicken of the year!

  He didn’t get as mad at me as he got at TMZ at the same KFC.  (Try saying that ten times fast!)  But he didn’t have his entourage with him when I saw him.  The car is the same though, as this video will attest:

  I’ve taken the liberty of changing the lyrics to Kanye’s song “Stronger” to these:

  Fried chicken that don’t kill me
  Can only make me stronger
  I need you to move your car now
  Cause I gotta work a little longer
  I know I should eat a little better
  Cause this can’t get much wronger
  Man I been cravin’ all month now
  Mashed potatoes I’ve been on ya

  If I saw Kanye today, I would rap this to him:

  I’m no fan of Taylor Swift yo,

  Beyonce seems much stronger.

  I wish you would shut your face though,

  Cuz we can’t wait much longer.

  
  

  ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

  “Since Taylor Swift is only 19 years old, President Obama has invited her and Kanye West to the White House for a Root Beer Summit.” — Jay Leno

  
  
  

  • 8:49 pm
  • 31 Comments