July 21, 2009

• Lawanda Stole my iPod Touch!

  It’s a good thing that my vacation cost next to nothing;  (I got the airline tickets to Rome with Frequent Flyer miles and Massi generously gave us use of his Tuscan villa for the week.  The only thing I paid for was food (split 35 ways, even cheap after the Euro conversion) and gas to cross the Alps.) because ever since I left, my expenses have been mounting.  It started on the plane when  a passenger decided to have a heart attack that resulted in me leaving my iPod Touch behind (long story, but suffice it to say we had to exit the plane quickly).  My fault you say?  Oh, and I suppose my other iPod Touch falling out of the car in Michigan last summer was my fault too!?  Seems like a conspiracy to me! 

  Loss:  $220

  Then when I got home, Ryan informed me that the tires on my car were dangerously bald and that I shouldn’t even drive it to the tire store!  Well, I got them replaced last week and it wasn’t cheap.

  Loss: $420

  Next I see the following on an invoice from my property management company for some rental property I own:

   

  When I called to ask why the door was kicked in, they didn’t know, but they did inform me that due to a storm over the weekend, the fence got knocked down as well and it would cost $500 to replace.
  
  Loss: $570

  To top it off, my desktop PC in my office stopped working while I was gone.  It seems the motherboard went out. 

  Loss: $250

  Total:  $1460

  I’ve already started making up the loss though.  When my delayed flight landed in Chicago last week, it was a comedy of errors at United Airlines.  As someone who has traveled the world many times over, I know exactly what is supposed to be done when international flights are delayed more than  2 hours and connections are missed. United Airlines did not take care of the customers on my flight, but I was self sufficient enough that it didn’t matter.  It still put me in an irritated mood though, so when I walked into the Red Carpet Lounge to be greeted by “Lawanda” (her real name), an uninterested United employee who was too busy playing a game on her iPod Touch to even look up at me, that was the last straw.  Anyone who reads this space regularly, knows how I feel about poor customer service, so I politely said I needed to see a manager immediately.  When he got there I recited a litany of problems with my flight, ending with Lawanda and her iPod Touch.  Hell, for all I know it was really MY iPod Touch given to her by her boyfriend who cleaned the plane on my flight to Rome.  (Is that racist?)  Since I couldn’t write a song about it, I demanded an apology, and got this:

   
  

  Moral of the story?  It ALWAYS pays to escalate problems to a supervisor!

  Now I just need to figure out how to recoup the other $1060, and I think I may have stumbled upon how to do it.  Chazz was here over the weekend and I learned that he (like Oreo before him) enjoys Coke:

  
  Have a Coke and a smile – Chazz 2009

  
  It’s the Real Thing – Oreo 1985

  I’m imagining a global advertising campaign, featuring Chazz, Oreo & Coke through the years.  Maybe they’ll even have them playing together holographically like Celine Dion signing with Elvis on American Idol?  So do you think I can retire now?

  Here’s Chazz having even more fun with a Diet Coke on our early morning walk today:

  • 2:58 am
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