March 5, 2007
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Corporate America & Bush’s Corporate Cabinet :-(
Note: Since this was published, the situation has been resolved and I have removed the offender’s name

Here’s another one of my infamous “customer service” emails, regarding a loan I have with my bank. Hopefully this one will be posted in their lunchroom, if only for laughs
I actually find the writing process quite cathartic!
I just got off the phone with Erin in your collections department and apparently there has been a gross miscarriage of justice regarding my account with your bank. Besides the fact that your website is juvenile and un-navigable, it is showing me as past due. I have never been late for ANYTHING in my life. Not a movie, not a wedding, and certainly not a loan payment. Your website (that looks like it was designed by a 5 year old (scratch that, 4)) tells me my past due amount is $879 but when I go to make a payment, it tells me that only $360 is due.Erin in your customer service department; (who was very nice by the way, which was unusual as I would guess that such a shady two bit corporation like yours would only hire shady, dishonest criminals who rape people, like your company rapes its customers.) Anyway, I digress, Erin told me that the erroneous “Amount Due” was simply a “computer glitch” and when loans are transferred to other servicers, payments sometimes get “lost in the shuffle”. You may not know this, but the phrase “lost in the shuffle” refers to playing cards that sometimes get “lost”. It is often used to connote random happenings that might get missed in our busy lives. It is NOT, I repeat, NOT meant to be used by lenders who affect the credit and thereby the lifelong viability of a consumer’s existence. We are taking about basic needs like food, shelter and clothing. This FLIP remark only strengthens my belief that your company has been completely negligent in handling my account.
When I signed up for this loan, I specifically stated that you were not to send me ANY mail. Snail mail is a 20th century technology which I REFUSE to acquiesce to in the 21st century. I haven’t checked my mail since Christmas, since it’s all junk anyway, and I haven’t put a stamp on an envelope or even written a check in five years, and I’m NOT about to start now. I demand to have a supervisor call me immediately (if not sooner) to discuss your liability in this abhorrent customer service debacle. Lest you forget, “I” am the customer and YOU are here to serve “ME”. I refuse to let a “computer glitch” destroy my good name. Five years from now, your company will surely be out of business, and I will be faced with the ENORMOUS challenge of fixing MY credit. I await your call.
Following up on my post last week about the Secretary of Veteran Affairs, the honorable (and delusional) R. James Nicholson, comes a new game from the good folks at www.truemajority.org. It’s modeled after the game we all played as kids, Operation, so check it out

Also, while you’re there, (if you live in the US) you can sign up to receive a free Federal Government foldable frisbee, which graphically demonstrates how much of the federal budget (nearly half) of the United States of America is spent on defense. Too bad they don’t use that money for body armor or mold removal at Walter Reed Medical Center. But Cheney’s fat cats at Haliburton are all sitting pretty. Bastards!
UNBELIEVABLE (Sorry video may be down)
And in the interest of fairness:
And finally, if you haven’t seen it yet, check out www.dubyamovie.com




Comments (2)
Thanks for your comment on my United post. In my old job I traveled every week of my life for 13 years. If I was honest though I would have to say that every airline sucks. Sure, some are better than others; some prefer Southwest’s model, others JetBlue, still others think the foreign airlines do it best. From someone who’s flown everything from Singapore Airlines to Quantas, from TWA Express to Cebu Express, the common denominator (especially since 9/11) is that they all suck. They’re trying to make a profit at our expense, and most of their employees are miserable in their jobs, and it shows. Unfortunately, it’s a sad reality!
I FOUND THE WMD!!