And now for the obligatory embarrassing pictures I’ve taken of you over these past 10 wonderful years darling! (And some not so embarrassing this time…just to show how wonderful you are!)

The early years

Carey,

Below you find the e-mail my very good friend has sent. It will be highly 
appreciated, if you put it in your blog. Love, Bine

Your support has been very helpful and will continue to be.  I wanted to share
some thoughts with you all in this manner as it is sometimes hard to talk right 
now, but I feel that some of the feelings I have are important to share.  I
don't want to disturb you anymore because I know that the news has been full,
but I am starting off with an excerpt from today's Washington Post, 
because it gives an accurate account from room 206, the class of my friends
that I had recently dropped.

"The first attack came in Room 206, advanced hydrology taught by Loganathan.
There were 13 graduate students in the class, all from the civil engineering 
department. There was no warning, no foreboding sounds down the hallway. The
gunman entered wordlessly and began shooting. Students scattered to get as far
away from the door as possible. One bullet hit Partahi "Mora" Lumbantoruan, an 
Indonesian doctoral student. His body fell on top of fellow graduate student
Guillermo Colman. Then the shooter aimed his two guns around the room, picking
off people one by one before leaving. Colman, protected by his classmate's 
prone body, was one of only four in the room to survive. The professor and so
many of his disciples, most of them international students, were dead. Along
with Colman, the three who survived were Nathanial Krause, Lee Hixon and 
Chang-Min Park. Two other members of the class lived because they didn't make
it in that morning."

This is hard.  Sometimes I can talk about it and other times I can't.  Our grief
the first days has been shock and desperation, a trickle then a crashing 100 ft 
waterfall within minutes, fluctuating from hitting hard then disbelief.  As we
learned of those killed, more hope was pulled together for those who hadn't
been heard from even though we knew no news was bad news.  Norris Hall room 206 
was hit hard, we lost 10 friends in that room and while there were 4 survivors,
I'm not sure how they will survive.  I just dropped that class and my friend
Dave, who never skips, skipped Monday b/c he had a paper to write for another 
class.  Initially, we thought that maybe had we been there maybe we could have
helped but there were brave men in that room, strong men, men who would have
done anything they could.  When on Tuesday we had the last confirmations of the 
dead, including Julia who sat to my right, Dan who sat behind me, and Matt who
sat in front of me, I know Dave and I would have been helpless, too and 12
would be dead.

The media is starting to focus on the killer and administrative errors.  These 
should be investigated but please focus on those who survived, those who did
not, and the friends and families of those affected.  Because our department
was hit so hard, we have had many memorials, small and large.  Please pray 
especially for my friend Nathaniel who witnessed the whole thing and survived
unscratched.  Like the book The Giver, he has sickening knowledge that he
shares with those of us in the class and family members who lost sons and a 
daughter to ease our pain and his own.  Our class was the first to be hit and
the last.  Nathaniel lives with the images of all the fallen, the suffering
that could have been prevented had the shooter not returned to the room to 
shoot anyone moving, and the knowledge that some may have been saved had
medical attention come sooner.  Unlike undergrad classes, no grad student sits
in the back of the class.  Everyone is in the first few rows attentively taking 
notes, which is why they were hit so quickly with no time to respond.  I am
relieved to know that the prof did not suffer at all but am sickened by his
images of those did.

I want to share with you memories of my friends.  Dan, Jeremy, Juan, Matt, 
Waleed, Brian, and I shared a large office together in 222 Patton Hall.  We
didn't have cubes or anything, just a communal room with desks pushed up
against the walls.  These good people were masters and PhD students studying 
water resources, working on projects like river restoration, flood control, and
watershed planning.

Dan O'Neil- one of the youngest grad students in our department with dreams of
Ireland and Boston.  He was psyched about my moving to Boston and always gave 
me names of Boston friends, new places to eat, and I looked forward to him
showing me around the city.  He loved the Beatles and as every college guitar
player does, confessed to playing the song "Breakfast at Tiffany's" over and 
over.  He also was a huge Dave Sedaris fan and we often just sat on our office
desks talking about Sedaris' wild stories.

Jeremy Herbstritt- an enthusiastic student who was able to make people smile by
just talking- he somehow acquired a surfer accent despite growing up on a farm 
in Pennsylvania.  He was a great runner and always tried to inspire me to run a
marathon.

Jarrett Lane- a shy, intelligent undergrad taking the grad level course.  Even
before all this, many of us admired his desire to take such tough grad classes 

Julia Pryde- an enthusiastic new grad student who was passionate about
protecting and restoring the environment to help the poor.  She traveled the
world and was working on land erosion problems for villages in South America. 
Her close friends say she could travel the world with her small backpack
because her spirit was all she needed and she knew it- this was clear to all.

Juan Ortiz-Ortiz- humble man from Puerto Rico with a good sense of humor.  He 
was a newly wed and he and his wife (also a civil engineering student) would
always warm up leftovers for lunch in our office- the good smells usually
making us all start lunch earlier than we'd thought. They were a couple that 
made you feel good.  When she saw me yesterday, she kept saying "I'm so happy
you are alive" but I keep thinking how can she utter the words "happy"?  She is
a strong woman and is still working though the awful bureaucracy for her to see 
her husband's body.

Brian Bluhm- very caring guy in my office who constantly asked me about friends
and family after Katrina and was ready to help if I asked.  He was a sports fan
and loved the Detroit Tigers.  He just got a job in Baltimore and was excited 
about finding an apartment near his sister.

Waleed Shaalan- an academic perfectionist.  I was a teaching assistant for him
and he wouldn't rest until he fully understood why things were the way they
were.  He was from Egypt and left behind a wife and a 1-and-half-year-old son 
who he'd hoped to bring to the US next fall.  He was one of the best ping pong
players during our November office tournament.  Last week, another friend was
having a rough day and Waleed ran to his office and brought specially shipped 
cookies from Egypt to share.  He always carried a well worn photo of his son in
his wallet and loved it so much he had another friend in our office scan it so
he could have more copies.

Dr. GV Loganathan- the best professor I have ever had.  I also had him in 
undergrad when I was at VT for a year and was his teaching assistant for fluid
mechanics.  When I dropped the class, I expected the usual professor response
(that being no response or simply "ok").  He wrote in the email "We will miss 
you"- I remember thinking, wow- this is a true teacher.  Having taught for so
long and teaching the foundation civil engineering courses, almost every civil
engineer undergraduate from VT has been touched by him.

Partahi Mamora Halomoan Lumbantoruan- called "Mora".  He was a quiet, humble man
from Indonesia.  His family sacrificed everything for his education.  He
received 2 masters and was inspired to be a teacher so was going for his PhD. 
Many times, I'd look over to his side of the class and think of how he looked
like a brave warrior.  In his death, he was as well.  When he was shot, he fell
on the body of my good friend Guillermo (Gil). By falling on Gil, when the 
killer came back, he heard Gil breathing but thought it was Mora so shot Mora
more times.  Miraculously, Gil survived and within 24 hours the bullet in his
head was removed and he was at home with his wife and 10 month old son.  Gil is 
adamant about people knowing how Mora saved not only his life but the lives of
Gil's son, wife, and parents.  Mora was a true warrior.

And finally, Matt Gwaltney.  Everyone in this room was magnificent, respectful, 
and remarkably intelligent but Matt hurts the most.  I know many good men in my
life, but I have never so often had I thought "This is truly a good man".  He
went to undergrad here and stayed for his Masters.  Knowing the department 
well, he always took time to guide my class schedules, give advice on how
professors give exams, was notorious for caring about his students (he would go
to student's dorms on Saturday evenings to help with homework, etc).  He was the 
biggest Hokie fan I'd ever met and rehashed every play from the previous
weekend.  He and Juan had the idea of turning the big middle table into a ping
pong table and setting up an elaborate bracket system tournament last November. 
I was the only girl in the office and the water resources guys being
stereotypical engineers, I tended to humor them.  A while ago I brought in
acorns tops I'd picked up and put them on our windowsill.  Matt teased me a lot 
about them but when our office was painted and we realized they'd tossed my odd
collection in the trash- I was fine with this because they were just silly
thing to keep- Matt immediately started digging the trash, found each one- 
smiling with each new discovery.  I was so touched by his enthusiasm I kept
them all.  He had character I would hope all sons of the world would have.

As tragedies seem to do, the events on Monday reinforced lessons in life that we 
all know but tend to forget.  We must get to know our neighbors at work, at
home- the common thread of humanity binds us all and if we do not know our
neighbors, we live in isolation and are not blessed by the many personalities 
and vignettes that make life full.  Also, I hope that when I look back on days,
I don't just think of the projects I worked on or deadlines, but focus on loved
ones and moments throughout the day that made me smile.  I think this is yet 
another reason to "live life to the fullest"- we cannot be frozen by fear.
Many of the people in that class traveled the world, touching lives outside
their comfort zone but enjoying every moment.  They didn't die in the jungle, 
from contaminated water, or a street bomb but were killed in a class, learning
about how water flows over land and benefits of streams.  Death can happen at
anytime- if they hadn't experienced humanity, the lack would have made it even 
harder.  I am especially touched by Dr. Librescu, who died saving students
decades after surviving the Holocaust.

It's difficult knowing so many killed at once.  I always think back to the last
conversation of friends and family members I've lost.  Losing 10 in a few 
minutes makes the conversations so hard because there are of all the
interactions flowing through my head.  When I feel I've remembered one friend
my mind drifts to the next.  My head knows that my questions of why these good 
people died so violently will never be answered but my heart still searches for
these answers.  I know my heart will come to my thoughts but it seems like an
impossible meeting right now.  I hope that all of us have the courage to go to 
counseling.

During our department's ceremony for room 206, we had 10 white candles lit for
the fallen and 6 candles lit for the #206 survivors (Lee, Chang Min, Gil,
Nathaniel, Dave, and myself).  A few people at one of the memorials hadn't 
heard I wasn't in class and their celebrating my life was very emotional as I
had no idea they even thought about me.  Many times I wake up and think about
what I have to do that day- writing a thesis, finishing homework, paying bills, 
etc and sometimes have the sense that today will probably not mean much in the
broad scheme of things.  But seeing my green candle lit, I now know I have a
purpose.  I don't know why we were spared but we carry the hopes and dreams of 
our slain friends- to live some of their dreams is all of our purpose.

I know this is going to be the hardest time in my life but I hope that one day
my other friends and I can truly sing a song from my childhood.  I have looked 
to this song in other times of need and especially with the water connection of
my friends, I especially like it now  "Peace is flowing like a river. Flowing
out through you and me. Spreading out into the desert. Setting all the captives 
free."

The thoughts and prayers from you all are much appreciated.  While I feel
helpless, I know I am not alone and have support across the world.  All of us
at Tech have felt the global unity and we are moved by it. 

Please remember my friends and the other fallen, thank you.