Tyson used to blog about this sushi chef named Taka who owned a wonderful, cheap little sushi hole in the wall in Santa Monica.  We went there the day before Christmas Eve last month after seeing Juno.  Sadly, Taka couldn’t afford to keep his restaurant open and it shut down shortly after Christmas.  Taka had a very loyal clientèle though, and it didn’t take him long to find work, this time as the head sushi chef at Kaizuka, in Culver City.  We went there last night and it was wonderful.  As soon as we walked in Tyson knew all of the people at the sushi bar, as they were all of Taka’s customers from his old place.  As the evening progressed, more friendly faces showed up and the people were constantly buying sake and beers for Taka and his young apprentice.  What a convivial atmosphere!  The sushi was to die for (I even accidentally ordered the yellowtail twice.  The first time, Taka’s apprentice made the roll and it was great.  The second time, Taka made it and it was amazing.)  I highly recommend the Hiko roll (albacore and crispy onion) and the spicy tuna on crispy rice.  I ate so much, but I’m fat and happy!

 

Tyson, Taka & me

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Afterwards I came home and ended up playing (wasting time) on Facebook for like 3 hours.  I must admit I’m addicted to that silly Friends For Sale application.  I’m still relatively cheap and poor, but I’m coming for you Jad!!  I also updated my profile pics and added some videos and montages.  Why would anyone ever pay a lot of money for something like match.com when Facebook can do all of that?  Speaking of that…I found a great group to join.  This pretty much sums it up, LOL:

He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back and forth. (Or he pokes him, he pokes him back)
Cut the shit already, I want it, you want it, we’re not fooling anyone…

Enough with the poking! Let’s just have sex.

Seriously. People don’t understand why “poking” exists on facebook. It’s pretty clear that it’s facebook’s classy way of flirting, none of this “I was just thinking about you” bullshit. You want to have sex, so you poked me. End of story.
Be realistic, how often are you poked by a member of the same sex (or opposite sex if you’re gay)?

–THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF POKING–

I) Never poke someone you dont know and haven’t spoken to, simply because you find them attractive. Stop being obvious and gross/stalker-y.

II) Don’t poke anyone you don’t want to have sex with. You’d just be an asshole giving them the wrong message. If you “just want to say hello”, then IM them or comment on their profile etc, and actually say hello.

III) Don’t return any pokes to the person who poked you if you dont find them attractive. You’ll just be leading them on. It’s not cool to break unnecessary hearts.

IV) Straight men don’t poke other men. It is never appropriate. End of story. Gay men however, can and do poke straight men all the time…and love it.

V) DONT OVER-POKE! If you’re poking more out of routine than to display real affections, you’re poking too much. Limiting the frequency with which you poke helps retain the value of a single poke.

VI) If your poking is becoming too frequent, you need to have sex already. Once you’ve been poking back and forth for a few days, it becomes time to take the poking from the internet to the bedroom…or shower, kitchen, main lounge, attic, museum, airplane, fast-food restaurant bathroom, Chuck-E-Cheese’s ball-pit, etc.

VII) Be careful when you decide to hide your pokes. Hiding a poke is the same thing as a rejection, and you don’t want to send the wrong message to someone you might be interested in. If you are attracted to a person but don’t want to be bothered with constantly poking back and forth, just leave the poke up there, it doesn’t bite.

VIII) Poke wars are retarded (see #6). The process of poking isn’t fun. You’re just clicking a friggin’ button. The sex that comes afterwards is the fun part. Two people competing over who “gets poked last” or who “pokes the other the most” or whatever is the most ridiculous concept I’ve ever heard. It’s like two people sitting across from each other saying “I want to have sex” back and forth but with neither of them actually doing anything. They poked you, you poked them. Now stop the poking, and go have sex.

IX) If you like being an elusive, hard-to-get poke, don’t give it up too soon! Sometimes, witholding that poke for a few days can intensify the relationship. Or, if you like subtly letting others know you’re angry, take a long time to return their pokes, or hide their pokes altogether. Internet poking is as mental, as real poking is physical.

X) The last, but certainly not the least important Commandment: PRACTICING SAFER POKING.
It was already stated in the First Commandment that it’s wrong to poke those you dont know that you only have physical attractions for, however, creeps are out there, and it happens nonetheless. DON’T POKE PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW. You never know who that mysterious person poking you is. You never know who they’ve poked, or even if they were safe pokers themselves. Unsafe poking can lead to stalker-esque relationships, both in and out of Facebook. And you never know who might give you a virus (be it spyware or herpes). Neither of us want that. Two ways to poke safer are: to completely abstain from poking (this is the only 100% safe, religiously appropriate way), and to only poke people you know. Also, putting up sexy, cute, or marginally attractive profile pictures that non-friends can see might lead to unwanted poking. Be wary…and slutty/hoish at your own risk. I recommend neutral profile pictures of puppies, flowers, or famous athletes. Doing anything else might attract attention and end disastrously!

If you were: a victim of a poke-and-run, poked anyone without protection, a forced-poke victim, or gave accidental drunken pokes to that “less-than-par” sorority girl, please contact your local teen crisis hotline, police station, health center, school counselor, or any trustworthy adult.

–Get the word out!–
Invite your friends, but in particular, invite the people that you’re always poking, so that they can FINALLY get the real message you were trying to convey.

 

Sometimes it’s hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it’s so warm and sunny outside.  But today really felt like Christmas, because everyone was so friendly and cheery.  It was such a beautiful day.  So clear in fact that I could actually see the snow on the mountains surrounding my house (and I rarely even see the mountains surrounding my house, let alone the snow). I took advantage of the 76° (25° C) weather and walked all around town to get my errands run and deliver some Christmas presents.  Later, Tyson and I went to see Juno.  We both really liked the movie, but neither one of us could articulate why.  What starts out as a sharp, albeit superficial comedy, becomes a poignant coming of age film with Oscar caliber performances.  And the soundtrack is just delicious!  (Listen here.)  I need to think about why it was such a feel good movie, as the the subject matter wasn’t exactly tidy.  Somehow it worked though.

After the movie, we went for sushi at this great local spot in Santa Monica.  Tyson knew the chef and he took good care of us.  We ate $50 worth of food for $20.  On the way home I stopped to take some photos of the Christmas lights at the Mormon temple.  I still didn’t get all my Christmas shopping done.  Oh well…there’s still 2 days!    Here are my pics from today:

Roscoe is growing into such a handsome dog!

Arielle enjoying Emo Elmo on my iTouch

This is from the top of my street, across from the House of Blues and the Mondrian

Homeless Santa in Beverly Hills. I gave him a couple of bucks and asked if I could take his photo

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If you’re a fan of British music, you’re probably familiar with an Irish band called The Pogues.   Perhaps their biggest hit is a “Christmas” song called “Fairytale of New York“  The song is consistently voted the #1 Christmas song in England.  This year however, there was a problem.

It’s two days from the 50th birthday he thought he’d never see and Shane MacGowan is even more bemused and befuddled than ever. How, after a life of such famously bacchanalian excess that he was told 25 years ago that he had six weeks to live, has it come to this? It’s one thing to be best known for a sentimental Christmas ballad, no matter how esoteric, but it’s quite another to have Middle Britain rise as one to prevent Radio 1 censoring ‘Fairytale Of New York’.

If the Pogues’ larger-than-life frontman and chief songwriter has become something of an unlikely national treasure, it is mainly thanks to his bittersweet duet with the late Kirsty MacColl, which returns with Slade-like inevitability each Yuletide. But it’s easy to forget that it wasn’t always thus. Nineteen years ago, the BBC banned another of his songs, ‘Birmingham Six’. “They’re still doing time/ for being Irish in the wrong place/ And at the wrong time” sang MacGowan as Patrick Hill and five innocent men served time at Her Majesty’s displeasure. They’re out now but the song is still off the playlist.

The same is not true of MacGowan: he’s back in vogue in a way he hasn’t been since the critical acclaim that greeted the revolutionary, high-octane albums Rum, Sodomy And The Lash and If I Should Fall From Grace With God made the Pogues one of the hottest bands in the world. Just yesterday, his toothless coupon leered from the pages of the tabloids as he stumbled out of actress Davinia Taylor’s Christmas party with fellow good timers Kate Moss, Sienna Miller and Sadie Frost.

Make no mistake, his consumption of alcohol and narcotics has been dizzying. MacGowan says he was fed Guinness from the age of four by the collection of aunts and uncles who raised him in Tipperary in an attempt to put him off alcohol in later life. It didn’t work: at eight he drank his first bottle of Powers whiskey, and he soon added drugs, smoking joints at 13 and taking acid at 14. By 17, he was hanging out with rent boys and junkies (he says he was once the former, although that seems unlikely given his trademark jug-eared plug-ugliness), and so strung out that his doctor threatened to have him sectioned unless he submitted to six months in the notorious Bethlem detox clinic, the first of four stints trying to dry out.

At one stage he claimed he was polishing off 50 LSD tablets and three bottles of whiskey a day and, as he came apart at the seams, his antics became increasingly bizarre. In New Zealand he painted himself blue, claiming he’d been ordered to do it by Maori spirits; back in London, the night before the Pogues were due to fly out to tour with Bob Dylan, he took so much LSD that his girlfriend came home to find him covered in blood after eating a Beach Boys album. He told her he was about to host a summit of world leaders to avert the Third World War. He missed the plane and never toured with Dylan.

At one stage in 1999, his friend Sinead O’Connor found him snorting heroin and called the police, leading to another spell in rehab which ended abruptly when he was thrown out for bad behaviour. But not all of MacGowan’s celebrity friends – they include Bono, Nick Cave and Pete Doherty – believe that he is totally out of control. Bono argued that his self-destructive behaviour is “a mask, his way of ignoring people he doesn’t want to deal with. Shane is more together than people imagine”.

Not that those people will necessarily include the other members of the Pogues, who fired their garrulous talisman after he disintegrated on tour in Japan in 1991. After falling out of a train door at a station and knocking out the few blackened teeth which hadn’t been removed in drunken fights, he then performed an unscheduled exit from a van at 50mph on the way back to the hotel. When they got there, the other members of the band sacked him, replacing him with Joe Strummer. All he had to say was “Thank you, you’ve been very patient with me”.

Bombastic yet with a deeply sensitive streak, MacGowan perceives himself as a latter day Brendan Behan; as a romantic Irish iconoclast with a ready wit, a free-thinking republican writer who suffered for his art, his convictions, his unwillingness to be shackled. Perhaps that is why he allowed himself to be typecast as a drunken minstrel in the Johnny Depp film The Libertine, or why he called his caustic memoirs A Drink With Shane MacGowan.

He has a razor sharp mind, even when addled with drink, and is incredibly well-read. MacGowan says he was reading Marx and Trotsky as an 11-year-old, and he references William Burroughs and James Clarence Mangan regularly, even if he doesn’t have a lot of time for Samuel Beckett (“a miserable fat old bastard”), WB Yeats (“an old fairy”) or even Plato (“basically just some Greek c***”).

An avid reader as a child, the moment MacGowan decided to channel his vast energies into music came when he left detox aged 17. “It was like fate,” he says. “The first thing I saw when I came out of the madhouse was the Sex Pistols, a bunch of people who looked like they ought to be in a loony bin.” He became Shane O’Hooligan, living the punk dream and fronting first The Nipple Erectors and then the Millwall Chainsaw.  Read more…

And so I present to you, a true Christmas classic

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won’t see another one
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I’ve got a feeling
This year’s for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

They’ve got cars big as bars
They’ve got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It’s no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing “Galway Bay”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You’re a bum
You’re a punk
You’re an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it’s our last

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can’t make it all alone
I’ve built my dreams around you.

Here are the last of the weekend photos, and a video of a drunken Daniel, channeling Mick Jagger.  As you can see from the pictures, I didn’t get much sleep at all.  What else is new?

Oh, and I guess now we know why Mike Tyson looked so pissed in the photo below that I took of him on the plane to Phoenix the other day.

Mike Tyson pleads guilty to drug possession

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MESA,Arizona (Reuters) – Former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson pleaded guilty to drug possession and driving under the influence in an Arizona court on Monday.

His plea stemmed from an arrest last December in which authorities said Tyson, who has a long history of legal problems, admitted to using cocaine that day and to being addicted to the drug.

He now faces up to three years and nine months in prison for the felony possession charge and up to six months in jail for the misdemeanour DUI count. The 41-year-old boxer is scheduled to be sentenced on November 19.  Read more…

And speaking of “Tysons“.  This year’s token Asian on Beauty & the Geek is Tony, who distinguished himself in the first episode as the most sensitive of this year’s crop of geeks, without being characterized by many of the typical Asian stereotypes.  Not since Tyson, has a contestant portrayed himself so well and tried to break the mold (Remember Piao?? Ugh).  Spoiler Alert….

Unfortunately though, Tony was the first to go.  (Rapping for 3-6 Mafia, just wasn’t his forte, LOL.)  Tony we hardly knew ya.

You can’t deny he’s adorable.  In one scene he’s crying because he’s afraid of getting hurt by a girl.  Sound familiar?  Farewell Tony.  (Is my ”favoritism” that obvious?  LOL)  P.S. If that “beauty” Sam isn’t gay, then the Pope doesn’t wear Prada.  That guy is so botoxed it’s ridiculous.  I’m wondering if they didn’t just find an actor to play that part.  I wonder if Tyson can find out?  Sam’s ridiculous profile:

UGH!  Spare me the rhetoric!

The State of Health Care in America:

Tell Me Where It Hurts? – Dr. D

I’m embarrassed to even write this entry because it shows how absolutely f***ked up health care is in this country.  Here is the sequence of events:

Monday: 9 AM

Carey orders a refill of a prescription online at www.cvs.com.  The prescription is for Clobetasol Propionate, a cream to treat psoriasis that I sometimes get on my scalp, and have since high school.  The cream clears it right up when my scalp gets a little red. 

Tuesday: 9 AM

Dave the secretary

David Cullen, my doctor’s “secretary” phones me to let me know that I haven’t seen the doctor in over 400 days, and that before they could authorize the prescription to be refilled I would have to come in and see the doctor.

I explained that I needed the cream now, as I am about to leave on some business trips.  It wasn’t as if I was asking for Oxycontin (hillbilly heroin).  I told “Dave the secretary” that I would come in for a checkup as soon as I returned from my trips.  In the meantime, I asked him to authorize the prescription to be refilled.  He dramatically said he would check with the doctor and hung up abruptly.

Tuesday: 2 PM

CVS pharmacy calls me to say that the doctor’s office refused to refill my prescription.

Tuesday: 2:01 PM

I called the doctor’s office and spoke to Dave the secretary again.  Without telling him that the pharmacy had called me, I asked him what the status of my refill was.  He said that they would not refill the prescription until I came in.  I explained again that I was leaving town, and wanted the cream for my trip.  I also said that I had been Dr. D’s patient for four years, and this has never been a problem in the past.  At this point Dave got extremely agitated and said that he doesn’t need to listen to me anymore; at which point he hung up on me!

(Now, a little background.  Dr. D used to have his own private practice.  It was a small office, employing just a few people.  The service was personal, the doctor professional and the staff fairly courteous.  In May, I received notice that the office was closing and that the doctor was going to work for a large conglomerate medical facility called Synergy Healthcare Medical Associates.  When I received the notice I remember thinking that my doctor sold out to corporate America and the big drug companies.  Where before, I could call the same day and get an appointment, now I feared it would take weeks to get an appointment and the doctor would be either golfing or being wined and dined by drug reps. half of the time.  But, since I rarely have to go to the doctor (maybe once a year for my asthma, and obviously not even that often since I hadn’t been there since June, ’06), I didn’t think it was that huge a deal.)

So, after being rudely hung up on by Dave the secretary, I called back.I asked to speak to the doctor, and Dave the secretary said, “You’re NOT speaking to the doctor” and hung up on me again.

I called back, and demanded to speak to the doctor.  Dave the secretary hung up on me.I called back, and this time dialed the nurse, Judy Azar’s extension.  When she answered, I told her that Dave the secretary had hung up on me three times and I asked to speak to the doctor.  She said he wasn’t available.  I said that I would hold.She put me on hold, and a minute later, guess who answered?  That’s right, Dave the secretary, who hung up on me a 4^th time.

At this point, I called back and left a message on the doctor’s non emergency voice mail.  I told him what had happened, and I said that if he values his relationships with his patients that I would like a call back today.  I then called the corporate headquarters of Synergy Healthcare and left a message for the General Manager, explaining how Dave the secretary had treated me.

5:15 PM

Ring….Ring

Carey: Hello

Dr. D: Hi Carey, this is Dr. D.

Carey: Hi doctor, thanks for calling me back

Dr. D: What can I do for you?

Carey: (Relaying the same story I told above, and left on his voice mail.)

Dr. D: Well, I wasn’t there, so I can’t really comment.  All I can say is that all medical items that come out of this office must be billed.Everything is billable.

Carey: I told Dave the secretary that I was going out of town and that I would come in once I returned.

Dr. D: I get audited once a year, and if I’m refilling prescriptions without seeing patients I could incur penalties.

Carey: I told you that I would come in when I return.  I’m just asking for psoriasis cream!  Are you telling me that you need my $100 for an office visit that badly?  Have you really sold out to corporate America to that degree?

Dr. D: I left my practice because I could no longer make ends meet.  I was bringing in only $60,000 a month and I could barely pay the bills.

<cue the violins>

Dr: D: Take a look at your insurance remittances.  Your health insurance only paid for ¼ of what I billed you last year.  I had to incur the rest.

Carey: Trust me doctor, I hate the health insurance companies too, but they supposedly pay you customary payment for the services you render.  Beside, I’m the one who has had my premiums TRIPLE in the past 4 years.  Not to mention the fact that my asthma inhaler that used to cost $5 now costs $25.  And God forbid I try to refill it before the 60 day limit, then it costs $300.

Dr. D: You should talk to your health insurance company.  They are the ones that are cheating both of us.  They’re taking your money and not paying me.

Carey: Are you telling me I owe you money?

Dr. D: No, the health insurance companies don’t pay me enough to keep my practice open.

Carey: Doctor, with all due respect, I’ve never heard of a doctor who doesn’t make well into six digits.  I do not make well into six digits.  I have a very hard time feeling sorry for your plight.  Besides, if I had called you a year ago to ask you to refill that prescription before I went out of town; you would have had no problem with it.

Dr. D: You’re right, I would have filled it a year ago.I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that other former patients haven’t complained about the same thing, but my hands are tied.

Carey: I’ve always liked the care you provided but I cannot continue a relationship with a doctor whose staff treats me so rudely.

Dr. D: I wasn’t there, I can’t speak to that.

Carey: It doesn’t matter that you weren’t there.  Did you ask Dave the secretary if he hung up on me?

Dr. D: Yes, he said he did.

Carey: Well then, I would like an apology.

Dr. D: I’m sorry if he hung up on you.

Carey: Thank you, but I want the apology from Dave the secretary.

Dr. D: I can’t tell him to apologize, he doesn’t even work for me anymore.

Carey: Again, with all due respect, just because you’re not signing his paychecks doesn’t mean he doesn’t work for you.  You hired him, and you can fire him.  If you ask him to apologize, I suspect he would think long and hard about it.

Dr. D: I can ask him to apologize but it’s his decision.  If he chooses not to, I’d be happy to forward your medical records to a new doctor, just let me know.

Carey: Thank you very much.

Dr. D: You’re welcome.

So, that’s the gist of the conversation.  Of course I’m paraphrasing, and of course I’m making fun of Dave the secretary, and making myself look better, but that’s basically how it went down.The next time Dave Cullen the secretary googles his name, I suspect he will read this.  (Apologies in advance to Dave Cullen the guitarist, and Dave Cullen the author of the Brokeback Mountain Guide. (??))  I intentionally filled this entry with links and metatags to make Google’s robots move me to the top of the search list.  Don’t you just love the blogoshpere?  Though the doctor made some good points, the fact of the matter is he sold out.  Yes, the insurance companies suck, and trust me, I’ve fought with them before (last year they insisted I was a woman, because it said so in their computer, but that’s a story for another day).  I hope that any American who reads this realizes what a crisis we face.  America lags behind much poorer countries in health care.  I do not believe socialized medicine is the answer, but I do believe there are Democratic candidates out there who have better ideas than I do.  Please think about this as you ponder your choices in the next year.  It affects all of us.

Went out to dinner with Tyson tonight. 

On the way there I saw this billboard. 

Apparently “geeks” are in.  The first 4th season of “Beauty & The Geek” started tonight.  I recorded it, but haven’t watched it yet.  Ironic though that Tyson was one of the geeks from Season 2.  I have a feeling he started the whole geek trend.    Anyway, we had a nice time.

I’m heading to San Diego tomorrow, then Phoenix.  I hope everyone has a good week! –Carey

So much to talk about, where do I begin?

I’ve been getting told a lot that I write way too much for anyone to read.  I find that statement rather funny.  Isn’t it odd how we can read a 300 page book over a weekend, but God forbid a web posting goes more than a page?  LOL  Oh well, I guess we can chalk that up to our short attention span in the over stimulated wired age.  Do know however, that I will always be verbose.  It’s in my blood.  I admire the people who can write “haiku blogs” that are more profound than any of my postings, but I simply can’t.  It’s a stream of consciousness thing, and it always has been.   

That being said, I do need to ration my time at night better.  I tend to be a night owl, and usually don’t post until after 11 PM and write well into the wee hours.  I do have a bunch of things I need to get off my chest tonight, but I’ll save those rants for another day.  I haven’t been getting near enough sleep of late because I’ve had houseguests the past four weekends, and I’ve been staying up much too late entertaining and writing.  I’ve never needed a lot of sleep.  Even when I was a kid and my parents would put me to bed at 7 PM (crazy huh? maybe that’s why I don’t sleep much now, hmmmm), and I would stay up well past midnight in my room; usually entertaining my brother as the emcee of some game show I invented or some fabulous musical production I had concocted (Big finish!).  Again, hmmmmm, very telling.  As a matter of fact, the only time I ever shoplifted is when I was 8 years old and I stole some little toys at the local hobby shop to use as prizes for my brother when he “won” whatever game show I was keeping him up until midnight playing.  (I guess I never realized he was the only contestant, LOL.)  But I digress. (hmmmmm…notice a pattern?)

Why do I need to start getting more sleep you ask?  Last week, I began sleep walking.  It happened twice, though technically the first time I wasn’t really walking, I was just moving in a very agitated way.  But more about that in a second.

Lately I’ve been having very vivid dreams.  Wonderful dreams that are so real that I sometimes can’t remember the next day whether I’d just dreamt something or if it had really happened.  Scary huh?  Last Tuesday night I was dreaming of swimming in a big pool.  It had something to do with work, and I was swimming to get to the finish line.  Sounds clinical enough, right?  When I got to the edge of the pool, the water level was much lower than the deck, so I had to extend my arms to pull myself up onto the concrete pool deck.  As I reached the deck, I rolled on to the concrete, and proceeded to roll out of my bed!  Now, those of you who have been here, know that I have a very high, mission style bed that sits about 3 feet off my hardwood floors.  As I fell out of bed, my head hit my nightstand, and I landed on my shoulder.  Needless to say, a rude awakening. 

Bruised but not battered I managed to go back to sleep.  This time I dreamt of fishing (though I’m hardly a fisherman).  As I was casting my reel, my knuckles scraped the lats of my bedpost, hard enough to make them bleed, which of course caused me to wake up again. 

The second night was even scarier, because that’s when the walking part began.  It went down like this….

Sometime during the night, I woke up to go to the bathroom.  I remember doing this, but for some reason I went to my guest bathroom, not the bathroom in my bedroom.  When I came out, I COULDN’T FIND my bedroom!!??  Try as I might, I wandered around my living room, looking for the stairs.

Here’s the kicker though:  I don’t have stairs!  For some reason, and keep in mind I remember this all, I thought my bedroom was upstairs, and I kept opening the broom closet looking for the stairs!  After wandering around for what seemed like a while, I remember getting angry, and saying to myself “Fuck it”!!  I conceded to sleep on the couch, and I’ll be damned, the next morning, I woke up on the couch.

Now, before you start emailing me to get help immediately, I would like to say that I have not had another “incident” since this happened.  I have been trying to get more sleep, and my stress level may have dropped in the past week or so.  Of course, the other possibility is that I really fell asleep on the couch that night, and dreamt the whole bathroom/stairs incident.  I honestly don’t know what happened, but it was freaky.

Friends have suggested I get some kind of lock for my door so I don’t end up outside, or God forbid, driving.  Although, chances are I’m a better driver asleep than I am awake   LOL  Suffice it to say, I’m more aware of my sleep patterns, and am trying to get more rest!  Case in point: It’s 7:40 PM now, and I’m done for the day (methinks!?).  I will keep you posted….don’t call the loony bin yet! 

Why not print your next rubber ducky from home??

Finally last, but not least:

 Happy Birthday Tyson

In honor of your birthday, I have arranged for the paparazzi not to bother you all day long!! 

So, don’t say I never gave you nothin’!!  LOL

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you don’t have “street cred”!  Happy Birthday my friend.

Tyson and I went out for a nice Italian dinner tonight, but first I took this video of him solving the Rubik’s Cube in 19 seconds in my living room (for all you naysayers!).  It’s so impressive to watch him do this in person.  He’s still recognized from TV frequently and is heading to a toy fair in NYC tonight to do his thing. I’m still working on it myself, but luckily I have a good teacher!  Have a safe flight Tyson! (If this video doesn’t work, you can view it on my Videoblog above)

This is a great shot of Tyson, but I look deranged…and tired!

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenneger is considering a bill to ban the sale of incandescent light bulbs.  Arnold isn’t worried about saving energy, he’s just tired of trying to say the word “incandescent” –Conan O’Brian

Terror Alert raised to Maniacal

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of Vice President Dick Cheney’s famous hunting accident.  To honor the occasion, the Texas legislature is considering an amendment to an existing law that would permit legally blind people to hunt.  I kid you not.

In the tradition of Jesus Camp, there’s actually a website called “God Hates Fags – Love God’s Way” And they’ve been kind enough to post a list of bands and musicians that God doesn’t want you to listen to because they “promote the gay agenda”  The list includes Barry Manilow, Cole Porter, Jay Z, Ravi Shankar, Frank Sinatra, Madonna, Lisa Loeb, Clay Aiken, Corrine Baily Raye, Elton John (who they point out , “Is really GAY!!”), The Doors, The Killers, The Village People (OK, I’ll give them that one), and many more.  “Safe” bands include: The Right Brothers (see below), Cyndi Lauper, Evanescence, and a bunch of other Christian bands I’ve never heard of.

If you look at their website, they refer to their patrons as simply “corporate”, just like Tom Cruise (really gay?) in the movie “The Firm”.  They apparently believe also that they are being censored because MySpace and Google removed their videos, because they violated their sense of a “community standard”  Bravo, MySpace and Google.  As private companies, they have a right to do this.  It’s not censorship.

They actually have a song with a video called “God Hates Fags” with profound lyrics like “Righteous fags get on your knees, there lies no virtue in sodomy”  I swear if I hadn’t seen this with my own eyes, I would never believe it.  And the video is hilarious when you look at the “queen” who sings it.  This guy makes Ted Haggard seem like a nice guy!  Check it out, before YouTube removes it again:  

I should point out that according to Wikipedia some people believe this is all a parody and that the singer and webmaster, Donnie Davies, is really an actor named Joey Oglesvie.  Apparently Wikipedia has even removed the post three times according to their Deletion Policy.  Even if it is a parody, it’s a deplorable one.  If you listened to the song (and the one by “The Right Brothers” posted below, they both have a ridiculous pop “hook” which tries to in a way, hypnotize you to get the chorus to stay in your mind.

Speaking of Ted Haggard, now that he’s out of gAy A:

Thanks to Tyson for telling me about that

Check out this cool commercial.  I think it’s visually very stunning, however, if the goal is to make the Rubik’s Cube seem primitive compared to a PlayStation (seemingly not a very difficult task, right?), then I think the ad fails miserably.  In fact, in this “Matrix like” battle one might conceive the nerdy 80′s Rubik’s Cube, quite ahead of it’s time, and a worthy opponent to Sony’s modern marvel.  The cube’s “moves” are certainly more impressive!  I wonder if the advertising executive who approved this, got fired after people realized that the ad sends a mixed message.  Maybe the cube wasn’t even defeated?  Maybe it “dispersed into the universe” only to regain its power and return some day.  LOL, OK, time to stop, I’m getting loopy!  It’s just a freakin commercial not Nietzsche!