January 20, 2009

• The Dawn of a New Age – The Reign of Error is Over

  In 12 hours, our long national nightmare will be over and America will begin a healing process that will hopefully restore our tattered reputation around the world. 

  Smart People Rule
  
  

  The forty-fourth presidential inauguration will herald a new era for intellect in the United States. No longer will conjecture and gut instincts substitute for empiricism and analysis. In front of millions around the world, science will be given new breadth, non-believers will be put on equal footing with the faithful and education will be promised true reform.
  Sean McManus
  Executive Editor, Bigthink.com
  
  

  

  We started celebrating last Thursday when my mostly Republican family was nice enough to indulge me with a “George Bush is Outta Here” party.  We had hats, plates, cups, a tablecloth and a “To Do” list for our ex Asshole in Chief that included completed items like:

  • Squander the goodwill, love and sympathy of the world by utilizing a misguided, arrogant foreign policy to ensure that the U.S. goes from being one of the most beloved countries in the world, to the most despised country in the world all by the time September 11, 2002 rolled around.

  
  Thank God for the 22nd Amendment!

  We even played “Pin the Tail on the Ass’s Ass” with a “Mission Accomplished” tail on Dick Cheney protruding from W’s ignorant ass!  Luckily the kids didn’t read the poster!

  

  
  Mission not quite accomplished

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  
  Even Betsy was celebrating earlier tonight

  Bush’s Depressing Goodbye – One Staffer Gets Job at Abercrombie & Fitch!!

  
  

  President Bush and his friends celebrated the end of his term with a party of their own at Glen Echo Park. Slate went, for some reason, and their account makes the whole thing sound like the most depressing event in the world. The party, dubbed “Crossing the Finish Line” and held in the park’s giant Spanish Ballroom, was organized by outgoing White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten and his predecessor, Andy Card.
  

  The venue had been somewhat controversial, according to attendees. There was no heating, so a lot of bodies were needed. “Due to the historic nature of the venue, there are limitations on what can be done in terms of climate control,” the hosts warned in an email. “DO: Wear layers and coats. DON’T: Dress like you’re going to Gold Cup or Smith Point.”

  Apparently some of the more climate-controlled venues had been taken. “There weren’t a lot [of places] available,” said Card. “There weren’t a lot of bands available, either.”

  So, basically, everyone was rubbing against each other for warmth and totally unemployed. Just contemplate the multitudes that are contained in this single depressing sentence: “One outgoing Treasury employee had already landed a job as a manager at Abercrombie & Fitch.” The Great Gatsby could have ended with that line.

  Anyway, there they all mingled, freezing their asses off, as Karl Rove talked about Twitter, Alberto Gonzalez walked around with a bloodshot eye, and the president mangled some more grammar.

  Look, people, if you are out the next two days, and you see these mopes walking all despondent down the street, for God’s sake, take them out a plate of canapes or something and call it national service. Then wish them luck at their new jobs, folding on, sweaters against the sale rack, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  
  Best of the rest…

  • 2:59 am
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