dog

  • A Year of Chazz

    I couldn’t let today pass without acknowledging a birthday.  Chazz turned 1 year old today!!  In that year, I’ve taken over 700 photos of him:

    Obviously I can’t be with Chazz on his “special day”, so Ryan just texted me this picture of his first birthday cake:

  • Horndogs, Tooth Ointment, Toxic Snowglobes and YouDork

    I’m down in Mission Viejo for a week dog-sitting for Buster, the one eyed horndog and Roxy:

     

    Last night, Andy consistently beat me at Wii for hours, and I’m sure I got carpal tunnel in the process!

    This morning I woke up early and was unusually tired.  Even though I didn’t fly here, I brought my travel bag, full of travel sized items.  In my stupor this morning, the toothpaste and the Neosporin looked remarkably similar:

    They didn’t taste similar however, as this reenactment shows:


    OK, I didn’t really put it in my mouth this morning…but I almost did!

    I blame the TSA for this!  (Kip Hawley is still an idiot!)  Their stupid fucking liquid ban has likely caused thousands of Americans to brush their teeth with antibiotic ointment methinks.  There’s a good book called Natural Security: A Darwinian Approach to a Dangerous World that posits:

    “Lessons learned from Mother Nature [could] help airport security screening checkpoints better protect us from terror threats — if governments are willing to think outside the box and pay heed to some of nature’s most successful evolutionary strategies for species adaptation and survival.

    “Biological organisms have figured out millions of ways, over three and a half billion years of evolution, to keep themselves safe from a vast array of threats,” said Raphael Sagarin, a Duke University ecologist who co-edited the book with Terence Taylor, an international security expert.

    “Arm races among invertebrates, intelligence gathering by the immune system and alarm calls by marmots are just a few of nature’s successful security strategies that have been tested and modified over time in response to changing threats and situations,” Sagarin said. “In our book, we look at these strategies and ask how we could apply them to our own safety.”

    “A study of animal behavior suggests that advertising your security procedures and continually conveying to others that there is a state of elevated threat only helps inform potential terrorists of loopholes in the procedures, while keeping the general population uncertain and nervous,” Sagarin said. Species such as marmots, which continually emit warning calls to each other even when no immediate threat is present, force the other animals in their group to waste time and energy trying to figure out if the implied threat is real, he noted.

    Evolutionary models and ideas also can be applied to non-terrorism threats, such natural disasters and the spread of infectious diseases, he added.

    “Whether you’re dealing with al Qaeda or an emerging pathogen, studying animal behavior teaches us basic principles of survival,” he said. “You can’t eliminate all risks, so you have to focus on the big ones, while adapting to minimize risk from the rest. You have to be aware of your environment, understanding that it’s constantly in flux. And when it comes to adapting and responding to threats, a centralized authority can get in the way. Individual units that sense the environment, with minimal central control, work best.””

    And now comes word that you’re no longer allowed to bring snowglobes through airport security!  Sorry middle America, time to find a new cheesy souvenir.  What will they think of next?  Urinals at the X-ray machine, so we don’t bring our piss on planes?  Idiots!

     
    “A glass eye, filled with weaponized ebola.
    A small child with a belly full of C4.
    A man with his blood altered biochemically to be a powerful explosive.
    A Muslim that has spent the last two decades training in the art of the Ninja, and has just mastered a technique to deliver fatal nerve-strikes from across the room using only the focused force of his own chi?
    WHY DO WE NOT WORRY ABOUT THESE THINGS?
    Oh… yeah. Because at a certain point we have to make the decision to accept the most minute possible risks or to continue rocking back and forth on the floor whimpering while in a pool of our own urine.


    In other news, yesterday, Lisa and I went to The Spectrum to see Inglourious Basterds (I loved it).  We also saw that they are auctioning off Designer Dog Houses built by celebrities.  Obviously, Chazz needs this desperately, so here’s a real live PayPal button to donate to The Hotel Chazzfornia Fund.  Bidding for the auction starts at $20,000.00, so dig deep!!

      Chazzitat For Humanity – Put a roof over Chazz’s head!!  DONATE NOW!!

    Speaking of Chazz, Claudio sent me an email with a video attachment of him playing soccer with some kids.  To wit:

    Gmail Carey Anthony

    Chazz Playing Football
    2 messages

    From: Claudio Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 8:09 PM
    To: Carey


    Chazz has made it to 3 soccer practices with kids at the park. He is very popular around there. Several people call him by name and gather around to see him play. The coach has a separate soccer ball for him already. The first-timers get instructions on how to play with Chazz. Although the 8 and younger kids who are his usual teammates were not there today (when I remembered to take the camera), he still had fun. 
    I got quite a few funny videos, but most are too big to attach… This is the only one that can go.  -Claudio


    From: Carey Anthony Wed, Aug 19, 2009 at 8:35 PM
    To: Claudio

    It’s clear he got his football skills from MY side of the family!  Ugh!!  Too big to attach???
    The 90′s called.  They want their ridiculously huge email attachments back!!

    Ever hear of YouTube, YouDork???

    And where the hell did you film that from?  The Goodyear blimp???  I can see that when I’m not around Chazz’s care is left to amateurs.  We’re going to have to decrease your visits with him.

    Signed,
    Worried in Weho

  • Species Change Operation

    Chazz hasn’t been sleeping well the past few nights.  When I asked him what was wrong, he finally admitted that he’s been a little freaked out by the recent news that Cher’s daughter, Chastity Bono is undergoing a sex change operation to become Chaz Bono.  I tried to explain to him that he is Chazz with two Z’s and that no one could ever take that away from him.  Still, his melancholy persists; to the point where I’ve had to go public just like Cher did to People magazine:

     

    To which I replied:

    It’s kind of funny that Chastity might actually be the lucky one if such an operation were possible!  I’m just sayin’.  In the meantime, Chazz’s summer vacation has come to and end.  I’d say it was a pretty successful month.  He met Drew Barrymore and President Obama.  He hob knobbed with Chelsea Handler and learned to solve the Rubik’s Cube.  He even celebrated Christmas in June and discovered he was as thin as a shih tzu!  And tonight at the dog park he was approached by a talent scout who gave me a card for a free screen test.  LOL


    I didn’t tell the gal that Chazz was already very close with Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black,
    what with the sex scandal and all!
    (Don’t click with kids around.)

    Claudio & Ryan come back from Brazil tonight; we’re picking them up at the airport midnight.  It will be lonely around here without Chazz, but starting next weekend, I’m dog-sitting for Garbo & Ruby, so I won’t be sleeping alone long!  Here are the final photos from Chazz’s summer break.  We had a great time at the beach this weekend with Paul & Emili and a lot of fun at the dog park with Sophie!


    A full moon at the dog park, and the dogs were howling!


    Paul & Emili playing in the surf!


    We went to see “The Proposal” at the Arclight.

  • Coyotes, Crocodiles & A Dragon Named Henry

    Since I usually go down to the O.C. on Thursdays, Lisa has been watching Chazz and he’s been pretty good.  The last two weeks however, she was busy so I had to make alternate arrangements, as I’m usually gone 12 hours.  I called a couple of doggie day care places and they were all about the same price, $35-50/day.  On a whim, I called a new place on Santa Monica & Highland called, “The D“.  It’s like “The W Hotel” but for dogs.  I thought it would be ridiculously expensive, as that’s where all the A-List Hollywood celebrities take their dogs.  Surprisingly though it was only $35 for 8 hours and $45 for 12 hours.  Before Chazz could go though, he had to have a “temperament test”.  I felt like I was trying to get him into an elite private school!  I coached him before we went in…”No humping Chazz”, “Keep your nose where I can see it”, etc.  Needless to say, he passed the temperament test with flying colors.  Then the gal at the front desk gave me a tour of the place.  It really is like a luxury hotel for dogs.  When she told me that every room had a flat screen television (with remote), I didn’t know whether to laugh or ask the obvious question! (Do they watch it?)  Then she told me that they play a dog friendly Disney movie in the common area every night at 7:00.  They also have a spa, gym (for dogs) and a grooming salon.  I kid you not…see for yourself:


    Deluxe rooms complete with queen size beds and flat screen TVs for your dog!

    So that’s where Chazz went the past two Thursdays, and yes I’ve officially become one of “those” dog owners (and he’s not even MY dog!).  I’m not one to gossip, but I will say the names of the owner’s of the dogs that Chazz hob knobbed with the past two weeks, rhyme with Donny Repp and Lennifer Caniston!  So fast forward to yesterday when Lisa said she would be happy to have Chazz for the day.  She only needed to leave the house for a few minutes to pick up the boys from their last day of school.  Since we all know that Chazz doesn’t like to be left alone, she figured he’d be OK in the backyard for 20 minutes with her two dogs.  Guess again:


    Who knew that Chazz could fit through a doggie door made for a shih tzu?  He can…and he destroyed Lisa’s blinds in the process!


    Andy reprimanding Chazz

    Poor Chazz and his abandonment issues!  Needless to say, we’ll be going shopping for new blinds soon.  In the meantime, Andy and I took him on a nature hike last night and saw all kinds of imaginary wildlife and made some new friends as this video will attest:


    “Coyotes & Crocodiles…Bye blog readers!  See you later!”

    After we made it to the park, Lisa & Tommy picked us up and we went to dinner.  It was a beautiful Southern California evening!

      


    Best of the rest…

    Oh, and speaking of flat screen TVs, I went on Best Buy’s website the other day and noticed that the new TV I bought 2 weeks ago was on sale for $200 less than what I paid for it.  So, I went to Best Buy and demanded my $200 and got it!  Time for a Blu-Ray??

     

  • RIP Santa Claus

    “Now this is the Law of the Jungle – as old and as true as the sky;
    And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
    As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk, the Law runneth forward and back.
    For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
    –Rudyard Kipling, The Law of the Jungle

    Lisa and Joel brought the boys up to the “big city” the other day and we went to see the movie “Up”.  We all really enjoyed it.  That morning, I took Chazz for a long walk, and then again in the afternoon before we left for the movie.  Since that time in January when he caught up on his reading about Animal Behavior (destroying 2 books:  “The Moral Animal” and “Animals in Translation”), he hasn’t really been alone in my house.  It had been 5 months since that incident though, and since he was sufficiently tired, I put him in my bedroom with all of his toys and plenty of food and water, and closed the door and left.  When we came home from the movie and opened my bedroom door, this is what we found:


    He had not only ripped all of the TV cable out of the wall, he had chewed through it.  He also chewed the molding by the door, and he somehow managed to open my heavy closet door and rip through boxes of Christmas decorations.  He also spilled his food and water everywhere and chewed up his food bowl.  More pictures here…


    The last time he did this was in January.


    Chazz is clearly an atheist.  First he killed the Easter Bunny, now he’s gouged out Santa’s eye and ripped his beard to shreds! 

    Later, I went to Ann & Jorge’s so Chazz could play with Roscoe.  They were nice enough to let me use Roscoe’s crate, until Chazz get’s over his separation anxiety.  They also lent me a book entitled “The Monks of New Skete – The Art of Raising a Puppy“.  This, in conjunction with Cesar Millan’s “Be the Pack Leader“, should have Chazz completely cured by the time Claudio & Ryan return from Brazil!  He really is a good dog.  He just doesn’t like being left alone.


    “Discipline and Common Puppy Problems”


    Resting comfortably in his new “den”


    He did have a blast with Roscoe though!

     
    Arielle & Ann watching the mayhem…Dinner at Philippe’s with the boys…


    Ann snapped this photo of me and the other boys…

    Oh, and in keeping with the spirit of my last post, a package arrived yesterday from Fabiola!  Now, “The Hotel Careyfornia” not only has a sign and towels, we also have a custom placemats!  What a thoughtful gift.  Muito obrigada Fabiola!!  Beijos!

  • The Death of the Easter Bunny

    It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that Easter has been canceled, due to Chazz’s brutal maiming of the Easter Bunny today.  The attack was caught on film…cover the children’s eyes:


    Click below to play the chilling video:

        

    Life must go on however, so we had a wonderful Brazilian barbecue, and  even gave Chazz a bath.  I’m off to bed as I have to wake up early to pick up my aunt and head over to Jenn’s to watch the kids hunt for eggs.  Cheers!


    Chazz with his Easter basket, before the attack


    Claudio made pao de queijo


    Sleeping on his kill


    Best of the rest…

     

  • Chazz & The Big Bad Wolf

    Nearly 3 months after the Puppedential Debates, the Obama’s still don’t have a dog!  There are actually two new children’s books about the subject.  We’ve been in the grip of this national emergency for months now!  Take a look:

    Are you kidding?  Screw that pooch!  Chazz would make a much better subject for a children’s book, don’t you think?  In fact, I already have the pictures and Ryan said he would create the illustrations.  Now all I need is a story….

    …In magical LaLa land, there lived a puppy named Chazz, who was the cutest puppy in all the land.  Some people even compare him to Oreo, the Gandhi of Dogs.  What an honor!

    One day Chazz decided to go to the dog park with his neighbor Sophie:

    It was a beautiful day and they had a great time…

    and made lots of friends.  At the dog park there was a definite chain of command:

    Since they play with each other all the time, they decided to sniff out some new acquaintances.  Chazz had a great time with a new friend named Lilou:

    They were both the same age and size and wrestled for hours.  Chazz hadn’t had that much fun since the Golden Globes!

    Sophie also made some new friends:

    There were so many dogs there, that sometimes Chazz thought he was looking in a mirror:

    Suddenly a hush fell over the dog park.  All the dogs went on high alert.  Something wasn’t right.  Polo was the first to notice:

    There was an intruder in the dog park!  He was huffing and puffing.  Chazz knew he had to act fast.  His friends were all scared, so he approached the intruder and introduced himself:

    As it turned out, the intruder, Wolfie, had just come from a huge pork dinner, and wasn’t really in the mood to cause trouble.  Chazz politely, but forcefully asked him to leave and peace was restored in the dog park.  Chazz’s Uncle Carey was proud of his bravery, as were all the kids at the park!  Chazz was a hero!



    The End


    Best of the rest…

    ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
    “A new study from the Centers for Disease Control says that tripping over your pets causes over 86,000 serious injuries each year. Worse — only 30 percent of those make it to YouTube.” — Jimmy Fallon

  • A Boy & His Dog(s)

    Andy had a blast with Chazz the other night.  And apparently he misses him (and me).  Now if I could just lock up that favorite cousin status without Cole always being mentioned in the same breath! 

     


    Best of the rest…

    And lest you think little boys corner the market on cute videos with pets, I present “Eulogy for a Fish”:

  • Home But Not Alone

    My work week from hell is finally over and we had a big celebration with the team in the Pope room of Buca di Beppo.  We thanked everyone for a job well done and I drove home excited to sleep in my own bed for the first time in a long time.  (I give up my bedroom to guests of the Hotel Careyfornia.   It’s only fair, given the odd hours I keep!)

    I actually checked my overflowing mailbox when I got home   (for the first time in months) and was surprised to find two post cards from two places that surprisingly I have never visited:  Mauritius and Latvia!  It’s rare for me to get a postcard from somewhere I haven’t been, so kudos to V and David!

    Luis & David and Claudio and Ryan stayed at my house while I was gone and I saw photos on Facebook of the fun they had!  It’s good to know that people enjoy the H.C. even when the proprietor isn’t around!

    And how many hotel guests leave gifts when they check out??  This is what I came home to:


    How sweet is that!?  Thanks guys!!

    So after I finally got home, I was sitting on the couch watching American Idol and I felt strangely alone.  I began lamenting the fact that there was no dog (or people) in the house for the first time since Christmas!  (I’ve been dog sitting Daisy and/or Chazz and/or Chanel and/or Garbo & Ruby and/or Roscoe since who knows when!)  Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  I opened it and my neighbor Jessica was standing there with tears in her eyes.  Her newborn baby had developed jaundice and had to stay in the hospital.  She was understandably upset and asked if I could watch her dog Sophie for a few days.  Needless to say, the Hotel Careyfornia and Pet Motel wasn’t empty for long.  Sophie’s a good dog.  She sits out on the patio all day sunning herself and occasionally comes in my office and jumps in my lap for a while.  I’m happy to report that baby Jaden should be coming home from the hospital tomorrow, so all is well. 


    Sophie sits on my lap while I work!

  • Driving Miss Daisy Crazy

    Claudio & Ryan came up with Chazz on Friday.  It’s only been 3 weeks since I last saw him (when he “read” my animal books), and my how he’s grown!  I’m still dog-sitting for Daisy through the end of the month.  Daisy is 9 years old and I’m sure the last thing she wanted to do all weekend was contend with a playful rambunctious puppy.  She was a trooper though, despite her impatience at times.  I think they secretly had crushes on each other.  Just look how they were sleeping in bed with me when I woke up yesterday morning.  Luckily I had my camera by my side:

    Admittedly though, they needed a few time outs:

    Claudio & Chazz

    Yesterday we went to the beach at Santa Monica:

     


    We almost dropped to our deaths in this parking garage elevator….then noticed the permit expired in 2002!


    I need to add the words, “& Pet Motel” to the Hotel Careyfornia sign above!


    Tuckered out after a long day at the beach


    Best of the rest…