ryan

  • Media Darling?

    Update: Here’s the link to the Wall Street Journal article I was interviewed for as referenced below. They  got a few facts wrong, but there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?

    Every three to six months, when his most recent promotional deal expires, Carey Anthony blocks out an hour of his day to negotiate with his cable company. Each time, the president of a software company in Los Angeles says he can knock $20 to $30 off his monthly bill.

    “Negotiating works every time,” says Mr. Anthony,46, who estimates he has saved more than $350 a year over the past decade.”Sometimes you have to threaten to cancel service, or switch to another provider, or sit on hold for an hour, but I’ve never failed to get a discount,” he says. “You just have to be diligent.”

    As prices for cable services have surged over the past 10years and the faltering economy has pressured household incomes, a growing number of cable customers face skyrocketing bills. Read more…

    Also here are some photos from Christmas. I’m leaving today for San Francisco to spend New Year’s Eve with the GLY gang and look forward to more sunsets on the shore like this. Happy New Year everyone!


    Best of the rest!


    Video from Christmas Morning

    December 19, 2011
    Got the following email this morning. I called the reporter at lunch and did the interview. The piece should be in the Wall Street Journal late this week or early next. She said I was an amazing consumer advocate with a LOT to say. LOL, that’s an understatement. This is what I love about the age we live in. Power of the people truly exists. Tweets and blog posts can change policies. Keep up the good fight folks!!

    Gmail Carey Anthony
    Wall Street Journal Interview Request
    Schuker, Lauren  Mon, Dec 19, 2011 at 9:34 AM
    To:Carey Anthony

    Hi Carey,

    I’m a reporter for The Wall Street Journal. I was writing because I’d love to interview you for a story about cable service– I saw your post on Yelp and thought you’d be a great person for the piece.

    I’m at (212) 416-xxxx or on my cell (below) if you see this – please call me as soon as you can.

    Thank you so much, and I look forward to talking further with you.

    Lauren

    Lauren A. E. Schuker

    The Wall Street Journal

    office. (212) xxx-xxxx

    cell. (617) xxx-xxxx
    Here’s the full post she was referring to. Long, but worth the read:

      -  Sep 12, 2011  -  Public
    My Online Chat With Time Warner Customer Service Today:
    User Carey has entered room
    Analyst Serena has entered room

    Serena> Hello! Thank you for choosing Road Runner Internet Technical Chat Support. My name is Serena, How may I assist you?
    Carey> Fix my internet & phone service
    Serena> Hi Carey! May I know what is the issue with the service?
    Carey> We don’t have much time…it will probably go down again in the next 5 minutes
    Carey> It’s been going up and down for a week. Internet and phone
    Serena> I see, okay.
    Carey> If it goes down again you’ll have to call me on my cell which I entered in the chat intro.
    Serena> I apologize for the inconvenience.
    Serena> Let me run line test on your device.
    Carey> I have had no phone or internet already today at least 12 times…this is unacceptable
    Serena> I see, I understand your frustration.
    Serena> For all services down issue, we need to escalate the problem to our Cable Services Specialist.
    Serena> To fix the problem right away.
    Serena> Let me create a case id number for you here, okay?
    Carey> ok
    Serena> Please give me a minute.
    Serena> I just want to check, have you reset your modem recently?
    Carey> many many times
    Serena> I see, okay. 
    Carey> this has been going up and down for a week. Sometimes it stays down 20 minutes sometimes it’s back in 5
    Carey> crap, there it goes again
    Carey> call me on my cell…my phone just cut off
    Carey> internet will be next
    Carey> it’s back….are you still there?
    Serena> Do not worry everything we’ve discussed is documented.
    Carey> did you see that it just went down?
    Carey> crap, it’s doing it again
    Carey> Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    rrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    Carey> I can’t live like this
    User Carey has entered room
    Serena> Yes, I am still here, I am waiting for you to enter the session again.
    Carey> I’m back
    Carey> but it will likely go down again soon. What do I do?
    Serena> Great!
    Carey> I can’t live like this
    Carey> I rely on my phone and internet
    Serena> I am now completing all the line test and I will create a case number for you.
    Carey> what’s the problem??
    Carey> now it’s down again
    Serena> I understand Carey, this will be fixed as soon as we can,
    Serena> Yes, I can see it.
    Carey> now it’s up
    Carey> so what is the problem?
    Serena> We are currently checking what is causing of the disconnection.
    Serena> Please make sure all cables hooked up to your modem is securely connected.
    Carey> they are
    Serena> Okay.
    Serena> Thank you!
    Serena> I am now creating the case number for you.
    Serena> Here is your case number is: 7221706. 
    Carey> what do I do with that?
    Carey> I see a Time Warner truck outside. Should I give him that case #?
    Serena> That is for your reference.
    Serena> I just want to check, is your cable service goes down as well, correct?
    Carey> not my tv…just my phone and internet
    Serena> I see.
    Serena> Thank you mentioning the Time Warner Cable Truck, let me check our maintenance dashboard if there are on going outages,
    Serena> I see.
    Carey> This has been going on for a week though. I called last week and was put on hold for 40 minutes then cut off
    Serena> There is an outage in the area.
    Serena> I understand.
    Serena>The description of the outage is Multiple node outages affecting phone and Internet services.
    Carey> When will it be fixed? I’m this close to calling Verizon. I can’t live like this.
    Serena> Our Top Technical Engineers are currently fixing the problem.
    Carey> What are there names and emails? I’d like to write them.
    Carey> now it’s down again
    Carey> I’m back
    Serena> Good.
    Serena> I apologize Carey, I am not authorized to disclose the information you’re requesting.
    Carey> I assume this whole week will be taken off my bill.
    Serena> I understand you.
    Serena> For that you may contact our customer care to raise your concern.
    Carey> I CAN’T EVEN CALL OUT ON MY PHONE HALF THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Carey> and I was on hold for 40 minutes last week before getting cut off!
    Carey> I am NOT calling customer care to raise my concern.
    Carey> I’ve just spent the last 40 minutes raising my concern with you
    Carey> and in that time, my service has gone down 6 times
    Serena> I understand your frustration, we need to wait until our field technicians fix the problem outside.
    Carey> If you can’t have somebody fix my bill, then just cancel the whole service3
    Carey> I’ve wasted enough time.
    Carey> 10 years as a customer and this is how I get treated??
    Carey> I am going on Twitter now to tell everyone to cancel Time Warner if this is the way I’m going to be treated after 10 years of loyalty
    Serena> To fix your bill, I’m glad to get you a billing specialist right now, for your service, we really need to wait until the technicians done with the maintenance.
    Carey> It’s been doing this for a week….just fix the bill! I shouldn’t have to waste any more time with your company
    Carey> Who’s the chairman of Time Warner?
    Serena> I’m afraid I am not authorized to disclose that information Carey.
    Carey> You’re not authorized to tell me who your boss is???????????????
    Carey> http://www.timewarner.com/newsroom/press-releases/2011/03/TIME_WARNER_CHAIRMAN_38_CEO_JEFF_BEWKES_TO_PARTICIPATE_03-03-2011.php
    Serena> Yes I am not in the position. I apologize.
    Carey> there, I saved you the trouble…I’m getting his email address too
    Carey> that’s absurd
    Carey> when will this be fixed?
    Serena> I understand Ma’am.
    Carey> It’s SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Carey> 10 years as a customer and you don’t even know my gender?
    Serena> I am sorry.
    Carey> This whole transcript will be posted on my blog and on facebook, to show how absurd this is. Watch for it.
    Carey> What’s the number for Verizon?
    Serena> We do not have the number for Verizon Carey.
    Serena> Let me hand you over to Billing people to take care of your possible credits caused by this trouble on your end,
    Carey> it would save your ex customers time if you just transferred us to them…it’s the least you can do
    Carey> Fine, but when will this be fixed and how will I know? I’d like Jeff Bewkes to call me when it’s resolved.
    Serena> I understand, I will do it for you now.
    Serena> Please hold on to your case id number.
    Serena> I apologize again for all the inconvenience Carey.
    Serena> That is noted Carey.
    Carey> apologies mean nothing…you don’t even know my gender. I’m a human being you know. You work for giant conglomerate who is bent on making my life miserable apparently. If you’re really sorry, you should get another job.
    Serena> For now, since our engineers still fixing it, they haven’t posted estimated time of restoral but I assure you it will be fixed as soon as possible,
    Carey> What website do I enter the case # into to see if it’s fixed?
    Serena> The case number will serve as your reference for this conversation, everything is documented.
    Carey> What website do I enter the case # into to see if it’s fixed?
    Serena> The case number cannot be viewed on our web site, it will serve as your reference for this conversation where everything is documented.
    Carey> What good does that do me?
    Serena> It will server as your reference number for this issue and when I transfer you to billing.
    Serena> Please stay while I transfer you to our billing analyst.
    Carey>Please stay? What am I, a dog?
    Carey> This is gonna look good on facebook!
    Serena> I’m sorry. What I mean please wait and stay in this chat session while I get you a billing specialist.
    Carey> It’s a new world you know? You can’t treat customers like garbage any more and not be held accountable. You will lose customers if you can’t fix these problems. Don’t you realize that???
    Carey> Oh and tell the “billing specialist” to read the entire chat. I’m not repeating myself.
    Serena> I will.
    Serena> I will now transfer you.
    Serena> Thank you for contacting Road Runner Technical Chat Support, again my name is Serena, we value you as a customer. Have a nice day!
    Carey> You sure don’t show it!
    Serena> Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

    Analyst Serena has left room
    Analyst Gustavo has entered room

    Gustavo> Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable. At the end of our chat you will be given the option of taking a brief survey. My name is Gustavo. Please give me a moment while I access your account.
    Carey> You can either refund the charges for my horrible service the past week, or cancel it completely and I’ll go to Verizon. Your choice.
    Gustavo> Good Afternoon. How are you today?
    Carey> Horrible
    Carey> I feel as if I’ve been raped by corporate America.
    Gustavo> I am sorry to hear that. 
    Gustavo> I understand that your services are down. 
    Gustavo> Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
    Gustavo> I will be more than happy to assist you. 
    Carey> Everyone there is sorry, but no one is doing anything.
    Gustavo> Unfortunately, I cannot apply credits unless the problem is fixed. And as the last analyst mentioned, the outage is ongoing. 
    Carey> It’s been ongoing for a week. When will the credit be applied. I’m not calling in again or sitting on a chat for an hour. This is YOUR problem, not mine.
    Gustavo> As a courtesy, I am applying a $10 credit. You can contact us back once the problem is fixed to receive the rest of the credit. 
    Carey> And when will that be?
    Gustavo> Our technicians are working to resolve the issue as soon as possible. At this time, there is no known estimated time of repair. 
    Carey> As soon as possible? It’s been like this for a week! I need a better answer than that. I have to decide today whether to cancel this service I’ve had for 10 years. You obviously don’t care about my business or my loyalty.
    Gustavo> I am sorry but I am just giving you the information we have. 
    Carey> If you were really sorry, you’d try to find out what the problem was and when it will be fixed.
    Gustavo> As mentioned before, our technicians are already working, there is nothing else to do from our end. We need you to understand that this is something that cannot be handled online. 
    Carey> Then you should have told me that an hour ago before I started this chat!
    Gustavo> I gave you all the information I have in the system and applied the credit I could. 
    Carey> I CALLED last week and was on hold for 40 minutes before being cut off. If I can’t call or chat online, how is it supposed to be handled???
    Gustavo> We started the chat 15 minutes ago Sir. 
    Carey> I started the chat with Serena an hour ago!
    Carey> Don’t play semantics with me, because you will lose.
    Gustavo> That is a different department sir.
    Carey> So?
    Gustavo> It is being handle by the technicians who are already aware of the situation. 
    Carey> I’m still the customer. I’m still a human being. You cut me, I bleed. Have you no regard for your customers?
    Carey> So how will I know it’s been fixed? Will they call me? Send me flowers? Sky write? How?
    Gustavo> The services will start working fine. 
    Gustavo> And no, we will not contact you. 
    Carey> So basically you’re telling me I’m out of luck. Just wait, like I have been waiting for a week…for something I pay you $160/month for that should work and doesn’t!
    Carey> This is going to look great when it’s posted on facebook, twitter, tumblr and my blog. I’ll make sure to tag it with #timewarner #customerservicenightmare!
    Gustavo> Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
    Gustavo> It would be a pleasure if there is something else I can assist you with.
    Carey> OK, I’m going to call Verizon now to see if they care any more about me.
    Gustavo> Again, my name is Gustavo. Thank you for chatting with Time Warner Cable. We value you as a customer and are here to assist you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you would like to take a brief survey, please click on “End Session” and the survey will load.
    Carey> LOL, that’s going to be a doozy of a survey.

    Here are the rest of the highlights of the past couple of weeks:


    Birthday dinner with Dreamer David Cho.


    A visit with Arielle and Baby Hazel.


    Roscoe at Runyon Canyon. More here.


    Office Christmas Party.


    Movie night with Claudio & Ryan and Chazz & Rio. More here.


    Orange County thunderheads, followed by a rare California snow storm!


    Late fall in Southern California. More here.


    Thursday family dinner.


    It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. More here.


    My brother, sister in law and niece visit The Hotel Careyfornia.


    Merry Christmas from Chazz & Rio.

  • The Busy Season

    It’s been a busy few weeks at The Hotel Careyfornia. Lots of visitors…lots of great meals and very little sleep. If you’re thinking of visiting Southern California, make your reservations soon; as we’re getting quite full for the summer, LOL! I’m getting great use out of my new camera. Here are some shots from the past two weeks:


    B & L brought the kids up to Hollywood and we had a blast! Click here for more photos


    The next weekend, B & L had us over for an oceanfront barbecue in Santa Barbara. Click here for more photos


    Beautiful Santa Barbara, CA. Click here for more photos


    The kids had a great Easter! Click here for more photos


    Jennifer cooked a great Easter dinner! Click here for more photos


    Hugo arrived from NYC last Wednesday and between that and the Royal Wedding, I haven’t slept since then! Click here for more photos


    Of course Claudio hosted a Brazilian barbecue! Click here for more photos


    Hooray for Hugowood! Click here for more photos


    More satisfied guests! Click here for more photos


    My neighbor’s new puppy…she’s a Chiweenie (Dachshund and Chihuahua mix!)


    I managed to squeeze in dinner with Owen last week. Click here for more photos


    Our traditional Thursday family dinner. Click here for more photos


    No, I WILL NOT fix your computer! LOL Click above for video


    We were driving home from the Hollywood Sign last night when the Twitterverse exploded with the news.
    I was with these guys on 9/11 and the year after in NYC. We all watched the President’s speech together last night.
    Now THAT’S what I call “mission accomplished” GW!

  • I’m Entering Rehab

    The following, appeared in the Washington Post last week:

    Though it is embarrassing to admit this in public, I can no longer hide the truth. I have a Sarah Palin problem.

    I have written about her in 42 columns since Sen. John McCain picked her as his vice-presidential running mate in 2008. I’ve mentioned her in dozens more blog posts, Web chats, and TV and radio appearances. I feel powerless to control my obsession, even though it cheapens and demeans me.

    But today is the first day of the rest of my life. And so, I hereby pledge that, beginning on Feb. 1, 2011, I will not mention Sarah Palin — in print, online or on television — for one month. Furthermore, I call on others in the news media to join me in this pledge of a Palin-free February. With enough support, I believe we may even be able to extend the moratorium beyond one month, but we are up against a powerful compulsion, and we must take this struggle day by day.

    I checked, and I have written 39 posts about Wicked Witch of Wasilla, since that fateful morning of August 29, 2008, a day we wish we could all forget. So today, I declare a:

    So starting tomorrow, no posts about the Queen of Darkness. Like Mika Brzezinski, I will not give her the publicity she so craves:


    The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
    Mika Brzezinski Experiences Palin Fatigue
    www.colbertnation.com

    “Mika, you need to buck up! Now I know you think that this story has no purpose other than keeping Sarah Palin’s name in the headlines for another news cycle. I know you think that she has nothing to offer the national dialogue, and that her speeches are just coded talking points mixed in with words picked up at random from a thesaurus. I know you think Sarah Palin is at best a self-promoting ignoramus, and at worst, a shameless media troll who’ll abuse any platform to deliver dog-whistle encouragement to a far right base that may include possible insurrectionists. I know you think that her reality show was pathetically unstatesmanlike, and at the same time, i know you believe it also represents the pinnacle of her potential. That her transparent desperation to be a celebrity so completely eclipsed her interest in public service so long ago, that there would be more journalistic integrity in reporting on one of the lesser Kardashian’s ass implants. Now I know, I know when you arrive at the office each day you say a silent prayer that maybe, just maybe, Sarah Palin will at long last shut up for ten fucking minutes. I know, I can see it in your eyes.”

    I hope my friends and family support me during this difficult time.  During my stint in Palin Rehab, I will occupy my time and blogs with more dogs, kids, and sunsets.  Enjoy!


    I dog-sat for Anjali this past weekend.  Doesn’t she look like the dragon from Never Ending Story?


    I also lost my camera last weekend, so I’m using my old one :(


    Chazz & Rio loved Anjali.  BTW, this is how they sleep with me!


    Reflections of Chazz & Rio at the beach…mirror images. Sorry for the lousy cell phone video!


    We had another great dinner at Unphogettable. It’s Claudio’s new favorite restaurant. Thanks Thai & Phil!


    Boys will be boys…


    A visit from the Oxelson’s early in the week was delightful!!


    Tommy & Andy still growing like weeds!

  • The Dog Days of Winter

    No politics this week….my family has forbidden it:

    So without Sarah Palin to bash again, I’ll have to resort to the other main topics of this blog:

    “Kids, Dogs & Sunsets“

    I was dog-sitting for Roscoe the Rottweiler all weekend, and we had a nice time.  Chazz & Rio came by for a play date, and the beautiful weather made for lots of outings:


    Winter in Los Angeles…dogs in the hood prefer fashion over function


    Another satisfied guest of The H.C.


    Ryan’s holding up the present I got him for Christmas


    Hot dogs in Beverly Hills…where’s the Perrier?


    At the dog park around the corner from my house


    Hooray for Roscoewood!


    The dog that ate Hollywood…in 3-D


    At the dog park under the Hollywood Sign


    Click here for more photos…


    Self Portraits

    Oh, and as for kids, Andrew always delivers.  Here’s how he responded when, instead of asking him what he learned at school, I asked him about the questions he asked at school.  Why this hasn’t gone viral yet, I don’t know:


    “OK, I think that’s enough Carey!”

  • Longing for a Blow Job

    Even though I’m an atheist, I’m inclined to agree with the postulate that everyone likes presents, Santa, peace on earth and all the things that come with Christmas and the holiday season.  I mean, what’s not to like?  That said, it’s hard to get into the Christmas spirit here in California when it’s 80° F (27° C) and sunny.  It’s also hard to be optimistic with our country in such a state of shambles; thanks in large part to greedy Republicans and an inherited deficit too big to imagine.  I was reminiscing with friends recently about the first Christmas I spent in Africa twelve years ago this week.  It’s easy to forget that twelve years ago, Bill Clinton was in the midst of an impeachment trial over lying about oral sex.  Despite that theatrical absurdity, our  economy was strong and unemployment was at 4%.  I was struck by the fact that twelve years ago, everyone I met in Africa thought the whole charade was ridiculous.  Of course, Bill Clinton sailed through his impeachment, and 12 years later, he’s still in the White House taking charge.  I was reminded of that fact when I watched President Obama introduce President Clinton during his press conference last week.  Claudio and I were talking about it, and he had mixed emotions seeing Bill Clinton handling the room like always.  He thought it was the most telling political picture of the past two years.  I don’t necessarily agree with that; but it did produce strong and mixed emotions.  Bringing Clinton into the White House was a good move for President Obama.  Bringing him to the podium was a risky move.  Leaving him to go “tend to Michelle” was a horrible move!  (Click the link, it’s hilarious!)  But it sure made for great political theater and a lot of nostalgia.  Especially as Bernie Sanders was filibustering across the mall.  THAT to me, was the contrast.  Now if the president could just find some of Bernie’s zeal.  (Though I thought he did a mostly good job at his press conference the other day, save for the hostage analogy which The Daily Show skewered so well!).  I wish the President well.  He’s in an extremely unenviable position.  In the words of Robert Reich, “I urge congressional Democrats to remember the larger principles — not in order to be purist or make the perfect the enemy of the better, but to move toward an economy and a society that we believe in, that reflects the needs of the vast majority of Americans at this difficult time.”  How I long for the days where all we had to worry about was a blow job in the Oval Office!  That said, here’s how we tried to get into the Christmas spirit here in California this week:


    Our Christmas Card, LOL


    Chazz and Rio have become inseparable and sometimes hard to tell apart!


    Andy, Tommy, Ryan, Chazz & Rio (and me)…Ho Ho Ho


    More photos here…


    Winter sunset from my front yard


    Neon art on Santa Monica Blvd.


    The Beatles at sunset


    As the sun goes down over Santa Monica Blvd.


    More photos here…


    Last night we had second row seat for West Side Story at the Pantages!  Thanks Julia!

     
    One of the great old Hollywood theaters, the Pantages.


    More photos here…

  • Unicorn – The New White Meat

      
    Last Thursday was Thanksgiving Day in America, so I donned my turkey hat, and told the kids that instead of the traditional turkey dinner this year, that we would be starting a new tradition.  Then I showed them the can of Unicorn meat I brought:


    “Unicorns as we all know, frolic all over the world pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go.  What you don’t know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath Ireland.  The Sisters of Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days.  Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn’s coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn.”

    The video tells the rest of the story.  Andy was so cute in his polite yet steadfast refusal:

    The rest of the weekend was filled with movies and dim sum and relaxing with friends.  The dogs said it best the day after Thanksgiving:


    ‘Twas the day after turkey,
    Black Friday for some.
    But for Garbo & Ruby,
    Exhaustion had come.


    Happy Thanksgiving from our crazy family!


    More Thanksgiving photos here…


    The last time I saw Eli he was 16 months old and had just met Elvis.  Now he’s 2 and talking up a storm, and cuter than ever. Thanks for the dim sum An & V!  It was great seeing you all!!  More pics here…


    I dropped Mike off at LAX for his 6:30 flight on the busiest travel day of the year and the airport was surprisingly uncrowded. He said security was uneventful. The President must have read my email!  At least his wife wrote me back!  I snapped all of these photos while driving. Another pretty L.A. day!  More pics here…


    Garbo & Ruby are old friends with Chazz, but they hadn’t met Rio yet. Can you believe he’s gained more than 30 pounds since we got him from the shelter last month!? He looks great. The four dogs played all night.  More pics here…


    Arielle even stopped by for a visit!


    More pics here…

  • The Bureaucratization of Terror – Theater of the Absurd

    Dear President Obama,

    I am one of your biggest supporters.  I believe what you have accomplished in two years has restored our country’s reputation around the world and helped millions of hard working Americans.  I have sometimes wished that you could move faster on many things (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Guantanamo Bay & Afghanistan to name a few), but I trust your judgment and know that you are working as hard as you can. 

    That said, I must take issue with your recent stance on the tightened security policies of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA).  You say you “get it“, but I’m not sure that you do.  I know that the Republican Party and Fox News are up in arms about the new measures; and though I rarely agree with Fox News, I must yield to them on this matter.  However, I don’t necessarily agree with them for the same reasons.  I’m not really concerned with someone “touching my junk” when I go through a pat down; nor am I personally worried about:

    What I am worried about Mr. President is the bureaucratization of terror.  Starting with the failed policies of your predecessor, the TSA has become a laughing stock.  They are inept at best, criminal at worst.  Though America isn’t Israel, we could learn a lot from the Israelis.  It’s called behavioral profiling not racial profiling.  You can’t profile breast implants and shoes.  It’s about being smarter, not reacting every time someone tries to ignite their underwear.

    As someone who used to fly 3-4 times a week for 13 years all around the world, I can honestly say I’m glad I’m done.  I will opt out of these ridiculous policies, because they are nothing more than theater of the absurd.  We’re not safer.  The terrorists are laughing at us.  Every time I hear the words “I’ll put up with anything if it makes us safer…” I cringe.  People who spew such nonsense don’t fly more than once or twice a year, and are woefully misinformed.  If I were you Mr. President, I would immediately fire Janet Incompetano and John Pistole.  Replace them with people who possess the same critical thinking skills that you do, and can respond to this mounting public outcry. 

    If you figure this out Mr. President, people will begin flying again.  I was going to fly somewhere for Thanksgiving this week.  I have canceled my trip.  If I’m meant to die in a terrorist attack, so be it.  I’ve had a good life.  No amount of groping or probing will keep me safer.  The terrorists are smarter than that.  I do somewhat wish I was flying this week though, as I would love to have someone videotape me while I’m being patted down.  Did you ever see the movie, When Harry Met Sally?  Think of this scene, and then think of me being patted down by the TSA.  Trust me Mr. President.  I have a flare for the dramatic, and that would be one hell of a viral video.

    Dog Bless America,

    Carey


    I hope this is the only time I ever post a video from Fox News on this blog!


    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

    Ben Franklin’s Contributions to the Conference on February 17 (III) Fri, Feb 17, 1775
    Speaking of government bureaucracy, I just posted the following on Yelp:

    Going to West Hollywood City Hall at 8 AM on a Monday morning is the worst way to start your week.  I needed to pull a permit to replace some windows in my condo.  After waiting for the receptionist to finish a personal phone call, I was directed to the second floor.  They have the slowest elevator I’ve ever seen, and no stairs for the public.  Up to the second floor I went.  There was one person at a desk texting on his cell phone, paying no attention, and another at a counter helping a contractor; who had blueprints laid out from hell to breakfast.  After 5 minutes of no one acknowledging my presence, I finally interrupted the texter who then told me I needed to go to Planning.  I went to Planning and waited until the most jaded, bitter, bureaucratic queen I’ve ever met showed up.  He looked at my paperwork and let out a heavy sigh.  He handed me a form to fill out, and started pecking on his keyboard, seemingly exasperated.  He kept asking me questions about my windows and I kept referring him to the drawings and plans that I had meticulously prepared.  After 15 minutes of dramatic paper shuffling, he sent me down to the cashier to pay $97.11 for “zoning clearance”.

    I took the elevator back downstairs and gave the cashier my debit card and asked if I could also pay for my parking permits.  She told me that Parking Permits were handled in another department.  I walked to that department and met Junior Jaded Bitter Bureaucrat #2.  He told me they only accept Parking Permit requests via mail.  I informed him that it was the 21st Century and that I check my mail two or three times a year at best.  I asked if I could just pay for the permit there, and was told they only accept checks by mail.  I informed him I didn’t have a checkbook, because again, it was the 21st Century.  I haven’t written a check in 10 years, and wasn’t about to go to my bank and request a cashier’s check as he suggested.  The 80′s called.  They want their payment methods back!  He finally acquiesced and let me pay the $44 for the parking permits by debit card.  A small victory, but it felt good.

    I then had to take the elevator back upstairs to show my receipt to Planning, who directed me to Permits, where I had to basically start over.  As it turns out, Jaded Bitter Bureaucrat #1 was delightful compared to Jaded Bitter Bureaucrat #3, who worked in Permits and clearly hated life.  He looked at me, waiting for me to tell him what I needed without even asking if he could help me.  The staring contest went on for several seconds until he finally broke down and asked what I was there for.  I told him I needed a window permit.  He asked if I had filled out an application, and I said I thought I had.  He said it wasn’t in the paperwork, and directed me to a wall of forms where I had to search for the right one.  He asked for a letter from my Homeowner’s Association, which I told him I had given to the Permits Department.  He rolled his eyes and walked away.  5 minutes later, he came back with my Homeowner’s Association letter.  He then asked how many windows I was replacing and I told him three, as documented right in front of him.  He asked how many bedrooms I had, and I pointed to the clearly drawn layout right in front of his face.  He found out that one of the windows needed to be lowered, thanks to a ridiculously archaic city code, so he had to get his supervisor and lumbered away.  5 minutes went by and the supervisor sauntered up.  We’ll call him Ultimate Bitter Jaded Bureaucrat #4, who ended up being the most jaded and bitter of them all.  He was clearly the highest paid too, as evidenced by his Dolce & Gabbana sweater and Botoxed face that had not smiled since the first Bush administration.  (The other two were wearing Izod and Ralph Lauren accordingly.  It was a chilly day.)  He proceeded to look at my drawings and draw identical lines on them to accentuate my lines.  He took his time, and shuffled a lot of paper even more dramatically then JBB #1 (He must have had a Master’s in paper shuffling).  He basically did nothing but huff and puff for 10 minutes and ask me questions that I had already been asked 3 times; the answers to which were clearly documented.  He then sent me back downstairs in the elevator from hell (to hell?) to pay $341.17 for my permit. 

    I then took the elevator back up to purgatory, where I watched JBB #3 slowly stamp all of my paperwork, and hand it to me without as much as a whisper.  I asked if that was all I needed and he nodded affirmatively.  I know that no bureaucracy is fun to deal with, but West Hollywood is supposed to be a friendly, progressive city.  The staff at City Hall rivaled the TSA in terms of bitterness and rudeness.  I’m surprised they didn’t pat me down!  I payed them $482.28 for nothing but condescension and laziness.  For those of you who think living in a city like this would be all pink roses and rainbow flags, this is a cautionary tale.  I won’t even go into how one of the mayors here thinks that a ban on smoking is ridiculous, because West Hollywood is all about sex and rock & roll.  Ugh.  In the few short years that West Hollywood has been a city, the bureaucrats have made it no different than any other greedy, over regulated place to live.  If property values weren’t still so low, you can bet I would be looking for another place to live.  Until then, I’m going to manage with what I have.  I have no desire to deal with the city again.  The whole experience left me jaded…and bitter.

    If you’ve read this far, you’re probably looking for some photos from the week.  Here they are:


    I’m dog sitting for Garbo & Ruby this week.  More here…


    Mike and Barbie came back from China and lulled Ryan to sleep. 


    I bought this clock for Claudio for his birthday.  The perfect gift for an always late Brazilian


    Hooray for Hollywood.  More here…


    I snapped this kid at Harry Potter Friday night


    The beautiful full moon Saturday night light the sky.  More here…


    The rain Saturday morning cleared the air for a beautiful afternoon.  More here…


    The gun show in Hollywood


    Universal Studios Citywalk is ready for Christmas.  More here…


    Pam flew in from Denver and Christian at Wasabi, took good care of us


    Up on the roof with Garbo & Ruby


    More here…

  • His Name is Rio…


    His name is Rio and he’s such a scrappy pup.
    Found wandering the streets and now life’s looking up.
    And when he eats, he really gobbles like a hog.
    Best friends with Chazz now; Rio such a lucky dog.

    (Sung to the tune of Rio with apologies to Duran Duran)

    We got Chazz a brother on Saturday!  Mike and I picked him up from the vet’s office after the shelter sent him there to be neutered. (No, we didn’t get him neuticals!)  The minute Rio met Chazz, they were fast friends. Sometimes it’s hard to tell them apart, save for the ears!  He was emaciated and filthy, with some hair missing, but he had such amazing energy.  Even after just having the “snip snip” (as required by law with shelter adoptions), he ran around with Chazz like he knew about his new lease on life.  As the dogs exhausted each other, Claudio grilled up a traditional Brazilian barbecue and the sun set into the Pacific.  Welcome to the family Rio!


    Our first photo…love the dog biscuit in his mouth!


    Ryan, Chazz & Rio


    A toast to our new family member!


    Don’t they look like brothers?


    Finally getting tired


    Brazilian Barbecue!


    Sunset from the roof


    Best of the rest…click here


    Thursday night at The Irvine Spectrum.  More here…


    I also got my new glasses this week.  But everyone in the family looks better in them than me….even Grandma!


    Thursday Family Dinner

  • The Terrible Twos

    It was Chazz’s second birthday on Friday, and he celebrated in grand style.  Payton & Taylor were nice enough to send him a new “diamond” collar and doggy sunglasses.  LOL:


    Claudio helping Chazz open his birthday presents


    Thank you Payton, Taylor, Maureen, Pepper & Wrigley!

    We had a photoshoot up in the Hollywood Hills and he even got a doggy cupcake.  Over the weekend we saw “The Social Network” (loved it) and enjoyed the cooler weather after last week’s record heat wave courtesy of she devil Sarah Palin.  Speaking of the weather, the heat brought some amazing clouds last week, and even a couple of rainbows.  Below is a video from my roof and the rest of the week’s photos:


    Set to the song “Pure” by The Lightning Seeds


    More here…


    More here…


    Tommy & Andy


    Taken from my sunroof.  More here…


    From my rooftop Tuesday night.  More here…


    Chazz in the hood!


    Hooray for Hollywood!  More here…


    Ryan & Chazz


    Chazz and Anjali…More here…

    Happy Birthday Chazz!!

  • Life on the 45

    Thanks to everyone who made my 45th birthday yesterday, so special.  The festivities actually started Thursday night when I had dinner with my family and then drove up to Oxnard to celebrate Claudio’s birthday.  This is our 20th year celebrating our birthdays together.  Last year I made him sit through the Rodger’s & Hammerstein retrospective at the Hollywood Bowl on my birthday.  This year, we celebrated in Santa Barbara on Friday and had a big Brazilian barbecue on Saturday.  The parties continued through yesterday, and I must say I am exhausted…and so is Chazz and his friend Blanca:

    Of all the many birthday greetings I received on facebook and on cards and emails, a few really stood out:

    This one referenced, one of my favorite songs, “Brimful of Asha” by Cornershop.

    There’s a good breakdown of the lyrics here and a short documentary here; but basically, “on the 45″ refers to old fashioned record albums that played records at 45 rpm instead of the standard 33 rpm (rotations per minute).  A life on the 45 may be faster paced and generally more exciting??  That’s what I’ll go with anyway!  I’ve always loved the song…and now I’m 45 years old.  So bring it on life!  Here are more photos from the weekend:


    Celebrating with Andy & Tommy!


    Beautiful Santa Barbara, CA


    The Santa Barbara Farmer’s Market


    The dogs had a blast!


    Ryan & Eva


    The Gang


    Claudio the grill master


    A Bavarian Bretzel with Nutella!  Nom nom!


    Dinner with Meghan, Roberto, their new baby Daniela, Eva, Bassam, & Ken


    Ryan framed some of my Chazz photos!

    Here are the best of the rest: