August 18, 2009

August 16, 2009

August 11, 2009

  • Sarah Palin - The Musical

    Ryan's sister Renea was in town with her boyfriend Matt this weekend, so I headed up to Oxnard for a barbecue.  After dinner, we went to see Julie & Julia, which I loved.  Meryl Streep can do no wrong!  The movie has some great lines about the narcissism of bloggers.  Claudio kept elbowing me the whole movie.  LOL.  Then this morning we took Chazz to the beach and he had a great time playing with some little kids who loved him.  On the drive home I listened to the Evita movie soundtrack which I haven't heard in ages.  The more I listened to it, the more parallels to Sarah Palin I drew.  After all, Eva Peron was a self obsessed demagogue who impassioned weak minded fools into supporting her.  If you listed to Tim Rice's brilliant lyrics and substitute "Sarah" for "Eva" it's uncanny how well most of the songs fit Caribou Barbie: 

                           



    (Children:)
    Please, gentle Sarah, will you bless a little child?
    For I love you, tell Heaven I'm doing my best
    I'm praying for you, even though you're already blessed

    Please, mother Sarah, will you look upon me as your own?
    Make me special, be my angel
    Be my everything wonderful perfect and true
    And I'll try to be exactly like you

    Please, holy Sarah, will you feed a hungry child?
    For I love you, tell Heaven I'm doing my best
    I'm praying for you, even though you're already blessed

    (Workers:)
    Santa Santa Palina
    Madre de todos los ninos
    De los tiranizados, de los descamisados
    De los trabajadores, de la Argentina

    And the money kept rolling in from every side
    Sarah's pretty hands reached out and they reached wide
    Now you may feel it should have been a voluntary cause
    But that's not the point my friends
    When the money keeps rolling in, you don't ask how
    Think of all the people guaranteed a good time now
    Sarah's called the hungry to her, open up the doors
    Never been a fund like the foundation Sarah Palin.

    Would you like to try a college education?
    Own your landlord's house, take the family on vacation?
    Sarah and her blessed fund can make your dreams come true
    Here's all you have to do my friends
    Write your name and your dream on a card or a pad or a ticket
    Throw it high in the air and should our lady pick it
    She will change your way of life for a week or even two
    Name me anyone who cares as much as Sarah Palin.

    And the money kept rolling out in all directions
    To the poor, to the weak, to the destitute of all complexions
    Now cynics claim a little of the cash has gone astray
    But that's not the point my friends
    When the money keeps rolling out you don't keep books
    You can tell you've done well by the happy grateful looks
    Accountants only slow things down, figures get in the way
    Never been a lady loved as much as Sarah Palin.

    I'm not the first person who noticed the similarities either.  Naomi Wolf pointed out almost a year ago that:

    I realized early on with horror what I was seeing in Governor Palin: the continuation of the Rove-Cheney cabal, but this time without restraints. I heard her echo Bush 2000 soundbites ("the heart of America is on display") and realized Bush's speechwriters were writing her -- not McCain's -- speeches. I heard her tell George Bush's lies -- not McCain's -- to the American people, linking 9/11 to Iraq. I heard her make fun of Barack Obama for wanting to prevent the torture of prisoners -- this is Rove-Cheney's enthusiastic S and M, not McCain's, who, though he shamefully colluded in the 2006 Military Tribunals Act, is also a former prisoner of war and wrote an eloquent Newsweek piece in 2005 opposing torture. I saw that she was even styled by the same skillful stylist (neutral lipstick, matte makeup, dark colors) who turned Katharine Harris from a mall rat into a stateswoman and who styles all the women in the Bush orbit --but who does not bother to style Cindy McCain.

    Then I saw and heard more. Palin is embracing lawlessness in defying Alaskan Legislature subpoenas --this is what Rove-Cheney, and not McCain, believe in doing. She uses mafia tactics against critics, like the police commissioner who was railroaded for opposing handguns in Alaskan battered women's shelters -- Rove's style, not McCain's. I realized what I was seeing.

    Of course, Sarah Palin is so fucking stupid and self serving that she probably doesn't even know who Eva Peron is.  Even the sometimes infuriating Maureen Dowd pointed out in the Times today:

    It’s also interesting to read the chapter on “Palinmania” and remember how serene Sarah Palin was before she became unhinged by fame and her fixation with her reviews, especially from conspiratorial and gossipy bloggers [CareyGLY??] The same McCain advisers who later turned against Palin were impressed with her at first, when she earned adjectives like unruffled, self-confident, tough-minded and self-assured.

    From Bill Ayers to Reverend Wright, “Sarahcuda” was ready to bite, telling rallies, “The heels are on, the gloves are off.”  But by the end, after Tina Fey, Katie Couric and the shopping spree, Palin had lost confidence. She became erratic. [Just like Evita in Europe!] “During a campaign trip in October to New Hampshire, she balked at sharing the stage with former congressman Jeb Bradley because they differed on abortion and drilling in the Arctic wilderness,” the authors wrote. “That same day, she was reluctant to join Bradley and Senator John Sununu for conversation aboard her campaign bus and had to be coaxed out of the back of the bus to talk to them, according to a McCain adviser.”

    Palin is still obsessed with the blogosphere, which recently lit up with a rumor started by a fellow mavericky Alaskan,  who also no longer has his job — that she and Todd were Splitsville. She sarcastically told Mike Allen of Politico that she loved finding out “what’s goin’ on in my life from the news.” She deserted her post as governor to write her book about the “pioneering spirit,” as she told Allen. The contradiction seems lost on her.

    And, as Talking Points Memo reported on Friday, she put up a demented, fact-free Facebook rant trashing the president’s health care plan: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”  Do we sometimes drive ’em downright crazy? You betcha!

    So don't cry for Sarah.  I'm sure we'll see her on Broadway someday soon!  Maybe she could even test her chops as the witch in Wicked?  Now, on to the weekend photos and video:


    Ryan, Chazz, Claudio, Me, Renea & Matt

     
    Another delicious meal at the C&R Churrascaria...Chazz was content!


    This is the same look he gave Garbo a few months ago!


    Best of the rest...

August 8, 2009

  • The Toe Fairy

    Little Andy banged his big toe in the door today, and the toenail was hanging by a thread.  He was crying at dinner, so I told him that when the nail fell off, he should put it under his pillow and the "Toe Fairy" would come overnight.  His parents immediately shot me a "what the hell does the Toe Fairy bring!?" look!  Andy instantly stopped crying and started laughing!  As we said goodbye from the car, he was still talking about the Toe Fairy as the following video will attest:

    "Bye Blog Weaders"

    So the question is, what do you think the Toe Fairy should leave under Andy's pillow??

    What should the Toe Fairy bring Andy??  (Click "Send Form" to email me your answer!)

    Toe Jam
    Nail Clippers
    Socks
    __________??

    I got to see all of my favorite cousins today!  Jenn brought Cole & Tressa to meet me for lunch.  I haven't seen them since before I left for Italy:

    Dar joined Lisa, Joel, Andy, Tommy and me for dinner at Pei Wei:

     


    The infamous toe!

    When I got home from Orange County the girls had baked me brownies!

    Last night, we had dinner at The Grove:


    I like the other Abercrombie model better I think!


    ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
    “The Pentagon is concerned that Facebook could pose a security risk to U.S. military personnel. Apparently there’s no telling what al Qaeda could do if it knows what a soldier’s five favorite romantic comedies are.” -- Conan O’Brien

August 6, 2009

  • Divas in the Winery

    Gmail Carey Anthony
    Hotel Vacancy?

    From: Vonda Wed, Jul 29, 2009 at 10:25 PM
    To: Carey Anthony

    So I wrote you a long comment on Xanga, but when I tried to log in, it erased it......story of my life these days!  Hey, I am traveling with the divas (Bianca, her friend Laura from Boston, her friend Whitney from Logan, and Louise, Youenn's friend Jacques' daughter from France!  We're going to the Grand Canyon, then heading toward Hollywood.....for Universal Studios, beaches, the walk of stars, etc.,.....I'm just wondering if there is any chance there is a vacancy at The Hotel Careyfornia........I wrote it much wittier last time, but I am falling asleep now, so may stop making sense.......

    I'll talk to you soon, darling....

    vonda

    So, The Hotel Careyfornia has been invaded by the lovely Vonda (sadly, sans Nate) and 4 teenage girls!  And look at what they brought me:

    So now, not only do we have the world famous sign, towels and placemats, we have our own wine!!  Thanks Vonda and Nate.  You're the best!!

    The girls are really enjoying Hollywood.  Thanks to Dar, they're hitting Disney tomorrow and then the beach on Thursday before heading up to Yosemite.  The only thing they still want to see is Zak Efron.  LOL

    ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
    “It's President Obama’s 48th birthday. The president has asked that in lieu of sending a gift, people just make a donation to his favorite charity -- General Motors.” -- Conan O'Brien

August 3, 2009

July 26, 2009

  • No Room at the Inn


    Click to enlarge


    One of the most common questions I get asked on my blog is, "Do you really own a hotel?".  Well, the answer is no!  The Hotel Careyfornia joke started years ago with my friend Hugo.  Since I traveled for 13 years starting in 1990 and didn't even have a home the last 5 of those years; when I finally bought my home in California and actually had a place to live, my friends starting visiting in droves.  It helped that where I live is pretty centrally located and close to everything from the beach to the Hollywood Bowl.  My Dad made the infamous sign 4 years ago for my 40th birthday, and the rest is history.  We now have towels and placemats and the sky's the limit!  We were busy again this weekend when David & Rebecca visited with the three girls.  Speaking of the Hollywood Bowl, we had a great time there watching Jewel & Michael Feinstein perform with the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra.  Hope everyone had a great weekend! 


    You can just make out the Hollywood Sign in the background


    Best of the rest...

July 24, 2009

  • When in Rome...

    Gmail Carey Anthony 
    Driving in Italy?
    3 messages
    From: Logan Sat, Jul 11, 2009 at 9:32 AM
    To: Carey

    Hey Carey,

    Guess what?  I'm heading to Italy tomorrow.  I'm flying into Rome and was thinking of renting a car.  Will you still be around?  Any tips on whether I should rent a car or take the train?  Hope to hear from you soon!  Lo
    From: Carey Sat, Jul 11, 2009 at 1:47 PM
    To: Logan

    Hey Logan!
    You're not going to believe this, but I left Italy yesterday and I'm in Germany now.  I'm so sorry I missed you!!  Are you with Maria?  If so, tell her Hi.

    Regarding driving in Italy, it's pretty easy on the highways IF YOU DRIVE LIKE ME!  The roads in the villages are narrow, but  the signs are pretty easy to follow once you get used to them.  This kind of sums it up:

    • Narrow roads in the hilltowns of Tuscany People drive fast on the Autostrada.  Really, really, fast!
    • Tailgating seems not only permissible, but encouraged.  Even when you’re going fast on the Autostrada.  Leaving any discernible gap between the car ahead of you is an invitation for someone to pass.
    • You need a navigator or two to read the map and watch for directional signs.  When you blowing by them at speeds of 100+ kph, you need some extra eyes reading them.
    • All roads lead to Rome – or so it seemed – as no matter where you are there is a sign pointing you toward Rome.
    • In rural areas, you’ll find lots of narrow roads, frequently on the side of a mountain, and frequently containing lots of switchbacks.  People still drive fast.
    • When you are driving along the steep side of a mountain, you probably won’t find any guardrails or warning reflectors.
    • On these narrow winding roads, drivers will pass on a curve.  And sometimes that driver is in a large bus or truck.
    • In the small, picturesque hill towns, the roads are very narrow and rarely go straight.  People drive on them, even though there is very little room on either side of the car.  We did this once, and in error.  The photo shows the street, a term used loosely, that we drove down.  Most of the time we parked and walked.
    • Don’t expect drivers to stop for you in a cross walk. You’re going to need to dash across the street.

    The stereotype of aggressive Italian drivers has some roots of truth, but these observations are not meant to be demeaning.  We soon found ourselves conforming to many of these driving habits as well.

    If you’re staying in one of the larger cities like Rome, Florence, or Milan, you’ll probably have no need for a car.  If you want to take a day trip, you can rent one for a day or two.  But, if you’re going to explore the beautiful rural areas of the country, like Tuscany or Umbria, you’ll need to have a car.
    From: Logan Thu, Jul 23, 2009 at 1:07 AM
    To: Carey

    Hey Carey,
    I just got back from Italy.  Remind me to never take your advice about driving.  Easy???  You Italians are CRAZY!!
    From now on it's the train for this Midwestern boy!  I'll send you pictures soon.  I'm not as good as you are about posting them.  Your trip looked amazing though.  Ciao!  Lo

    Click Above to Play Video
    Me, driving in Italy...See, I drove OK, despite holding the camera.  What you didn't see was me navigating through the very narrow one way roads in the village.  That definitely took two hands, because the car was a stick shift.
    I got to see the kids tonight for the first time in a month when Lisa met me for dinner in Orange County.  They've grown!!  The sunset was gorgeous! 


    Chazz & the boys left Tuesday.  The house won't be empty for long though.  David, Rebecca and the 3 kids arrive tomorrow. 
    It will be a busy weekend at The Hotel Careyfornia!  Ciao!

July 21, 2009

  • Lawanda Stole my iPod Touch!

    It's a good thing that my vacation cost next to nothing;  (I got the airline tickets to Rome with Frequent Flyer miles and Massi generously gave us use of his Tuscan villa for the week.  The only thing I paid for was food (split 35 ways, even cheap after the Euro conversion) and gas to cross the Alps.) because ever since I left, my expenses have been mounting.  It started on the plane when  a passenger decided to have a heart attack that resulted in me leaving my iPod Touch behind (long story, but suffice it to say we had to exit the plane quickly).  My fault you say?  Oh, and I suppose my other iPod Touch falling out of the car in Michigan last summer was my fault too!?  Seems like a conspiracy to me! 

    Loss:  $220

    Then when I got home, Ryan informed me that the tires on my car were dangerously bald and that I shouldn't even drive it to the tire store!  Well, I got them replaced last week and it wasn't cheap.

    Loss: $420

    Next I see the following on an invoice from my property management company for some rental property I own:

     

    When I called to ask why the door was kicked in, they didn't know, but they did inform me that due to a storm over the weekend, the fence got knocked down as well and it would cost $500 to replace.

    Loss: $570

    To top it off, my desktop PC in my office stopped working while I was gone.  It seems the motherboard went out. 

    Loss: $250

    Total:  $1460

    I've already started making up the loss though.  When my delayed flight landed in Chicago last week, it was a comedy of errors at United Airlines.  As someone who has traveled the world many times over, I know exactly what is supposed to be done when international flights are delayed more than  2 hours and connections are missed. United Airlines did not take care of the customers on my flight, but I was self sufficient enough that it didn't matter.  It still put me in an irritated mood though, so when I walked into the Red Carpet Lounge to be greeted by "Lawanda" (her real name), an uninterested United employee who was too busy playing a game on her iPod Touch to even look up at me, that was the last straw.  Anyone who reads this space regularly, knows how I feel about poor customer service, so I politely said I needed to see a manager immediately.  When he got there I recited a litany of problems with my flight, ending with Lawanda and her iPod Touch.  Hell, for all I know it was really MY iPod Touch given to her by her boyfriend who cleaned the plane on my flight to Rome.  (Is that racist?)  Since I couldn't write a song about it, I demanded an apology, and got this:

     

    Moral of the story?  It ALWAYS pays to escalate problems to a supervisor!

    Now I just need to figure out how to recoup the other $1060, and I think I may have stumbled upon how to do it.  Chazz was here over the weekend and I learned that he (like Oreo before him) enjoys Coke:


    Have a Coke and a smile - Chazz 2009


    It's the Real Thing - Oreo 1985

    I'm imagining a global advertising campaign, featuring Chazz, Oreo & Coke through the years.  Maybe they'll even have them playing together holographically like Celine Dion signing with Elvis on American Idol?  So do you think I can retire now?

    Here's Chazz having even more fun with a Diet Coke on our early morning walk today:

July 17, 2009

  • Breaking News: Sarah Palin Birthed Michael Jackson's Son Blanket!

    Though I've been out of the country for the past couple of weeks, I've been well aware of recent events coming out of Alaska and California.  Thanks to all of my faithful readers, my email Inbox exploded following the news of Sarah Palin's resignation and I tracked every detail very carefully from Italy & Germany.  Though my disdain for Caribou Barbie and her disgusting demagoguery is well documented, I was cautiously optimistic when I heard the news.  Would this wretched, ignorant, vile, reprehensible, dangerous woman finally be off the national stage?  Doubtful, but I was still hoping for a scandal to surface that would prevent her from ever running for the presidency.  Watching her speech was like watching a drunk moose try to parallel park.  I tried to dissect ever bizarre word, and was still befuddled by her actual reasons for resigning.  Even more bizarre, as the front page of the New York Times recently showed, she has apparently taken to signing babies!!


    As The Daily Show was quick to point out, that baby is now on Ebay!

    Also while in Italy, it was impossible to escape the news about Michael Jackson and the funeral.  It was playing in every pizzeria and gelateria!  Obviously, we had many conversations about this over pasta & gelato, and since my return to Los Angeles I've been doing a little investigative reporting.  The timing of Michael's death and Sarah's resignation was quite suspicious methinks.  As well, the debate over the parentage of Michael's youngest son, "Blanket" has been curious to say the least.  (My friend Alan was the first to point out that Blanket might actually not be how the name is pronounced at all, preferring the more French sounding "Blahn-kay".  LOL.)  I've made a few calls to some well placed sources inside both the Jackson and Palin camps; and though I'm still trying to obtain proper DNA samples, at this juncture I'm prepared to be the first in the blogosphere to break the news that Sarah Palin is the mother of Blanket Jackson!

    They clearly have the same hair:

    And if you look very carefully at the infamous baby dangling photo, you might even be inclined to believe that Sarah was there!  I'm just sayin...

    I mean hell, "fair & balanced" Fox News already reported that Sarah killed Michael:

    So there you have it:  Motive and a strong family resemblance!  Need I say more?  I hope you get Blanket (Blahn-kay) back Sarah.  God knows you need more illegitimate kid's lives to ruin!  In memoriam, let's take a trip down memory lane to look at some of your finest moments in the national spotlight:


    Revisiting some of Sicko Sarah's most cringe worthy moments!
    GOOD RIDDANCE!!!

    Oh, and from the "Only in Hollywood" department; I went to the dry cleaners at the bottom of my street tonight to pick up some shirts and took this photo with my cell phone.  I guess when they advertise "Cleaners to the Stars", they weren't kidding!  I wonder if anyone ever accidentally got a single sequined glove by mistake when they picked up their dry cleaning??


    Hollyway Cleaners, mourns the loss of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, your songs and memories will always be with us. 
    We all love you dearly forever.  Hollyway Cleaners staff will always cherish you as a customer.